Maria Sharapova My Beloved Tennis Goddess

I really meant to launch a post about my babe Maria Sharapova, but here it is the middle of June and I’m just now getting around to it. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, or maybe just stuck behind your computer whacking off for the last six months, you know that
a) she won the French Open this year
b) she is ssssmoking hot

Maria is 25 years old, and she is 6’2″ tall. For those of you who prefer the metric system, that converts to “damn long legs.” Now if I had to guess, she is tossing around A-cups, maybe a small b-cup. But what she lacks in heft she makes up for in theft – she has stolen over $21 million in career wins. She could buy some boobs if she wanted them, okay. But she doesn’t want them. Maria has to be svelte, and quick, like a sexy tennis ninja.

She is out in the sun all the time, so I worry that when she’s 40 she will look 60. But honestly, I also fantasize about what kind of hotass tanlines she probably has underneath all those little tennis outfits. Holy mackeral, when she rocks the pokies, every television station in the country panics trying to keep them out of the shot. If I was the producer or network manager or whoever the hell runs the show, I’d say ZOOM IN ON THEM PUPPIES. It’s enough to kill off the older gents, horn up the younger ones, and convert the straight ladies to gayness.