Although we have on occasion discussed Sofia Vergara’s excellent boobies, when I think about it, it’s wayyyy too occasional. Can you imagine a flat-chested Sofia? Nah, me either. That girl has built her brand on a motor-boatable rack, and who can blame her. We also have that accent to drool over. Imagine her whispering naughty things in your ear. I can imagine her doing lots of things, more on that later.

It’s gotta be tough for insanely hot stars to age. The wrinkles pop up, the perky body parts sag down, and the next thing they know, they aren’t insanely hot any more. Several names immediately come to mind (cough, Sharon Stone and Lisa Rinna), but I’m trying to be kind so I won’t mention any. Before we classify Sofia and her rockin nipples into that category, it would be wise to put her through an inspection of sorts. This would involve a thorough exploration with my hands and possibly my face. Purely clinical of course, nothing sexual. Ahem.

My magic internet sources tell me she is 44 years old. This suggests we could also consider her a cougar. She does have kids, but let’s stay away from the milf term for now.

I am currently fantasizing about her in some very skimpy lingerie, bringing me a Christmas present on a cold winter night when the fire is warm and the lights are dim. I suspect she would have some goosebumps from the chilly air, and those nipples would be frozen to the point where they could cut glass. Or at least dent aluminum foil. Did I mention she claims to have F-cup boobs??

I have not met her in person (yet), but she appears to be of fairly large stature. I suspect if she put her mind to it, she could get both herself and me sweaty and exhausted. Heck, she might put me in a bodycast in a hospital, I’m not exactly in tip-top shape. Being hospitalized by Sofia Vergara is ah kinda at the top of my bucket list (wink wink)!

One of my favorite pictures of her showing off some pokies:

Update:
I thought I should add this photo of Sofia in some kind of crazy push-up deal that is mashing those braless tits in a way that I find quite enjoyable

All of us know who Sofia Vergara is. All of he women out there know who she is because they want hair and boobies like hers. All of the men out there know who she is because, well because they want boobies like hers. They are soft, and they can be squished around, and the bounce like a boob is supposed to. I know this because I watch very carefully. I’ve seen her on TV a few times, and in a few commercials. She shows up in magazines too, but for some reason any magazine with her in it that gets near me ends up with the pages stuck together. What gives?

Now, I’ll admit, she ain’t perfect. Her teeth are a little too big and a little too white. It’s like the definition of caps or whatever you call them. Shoot, she could have dentures and I wouldn’t care. My view rarely gets above her chest. Unless she has her back to me. And then my view tends to drift down, down, until BAM I get to that booty. This gal has some curves. Hopefully she sticks with jenny craig as she ages so we have no flab problems. I could always be her personal trainer. But I’d be afraid she’d get pregnant, cause I’m real virile. Even got a tattoo that says that: REAL VIRILE. Chicks digit.

Just uttering the name Sofia Vergara is enough to send most horny normal men into apoplectic shock. Her accent is endearing and erotic. Her beauty is unimaginable. But her boobies – they are epic. Sofia has managed to keep her boobs from running her life. Now obviously they are enhancing her life. She’s getting fat daddy paychecks and lots of attention not because of her acting skills, but because of that body. As you can see in that first photo, she’s standing then looking like a goddess in a sheer white shirt with the most awesome looking pair of natural boobies ever-ever-ever. Yep, those are nipples you see. I sort of stare and moan and maybe twitch a little bit when I look at this pic. I would love to make her my little Brazilian plaything. Or wherever she’s from. Don’t really matter – I know where she’s going: down to dirty town. With me. And all 9 of my fingers. I chopped one off one time trying to puree some canned meat. She won’t mind. Look at the rest of me. All hot and ready to paint her body like a delicious little canvas.

In some of the interviews I’ve seen, she seems to be quite a fireball. All that emotion can be great, but eh it can wear on you. I already feel like an old man. A gal like Sofia would probably be the death of me. Mmm, but what a fun way to expire.

Also interesting to observe is the way her boobs wiggle when she is in silky undergarments and really mad and stomping around. Video example of what I’m talking about.

Sofia Vergara is not somebody to be trifled with when she is hailing a cab. I sort of get the impression from these pics that she pulled one of her high heels off and pegged it at some stanky cabbie who passed her by. Now who in their right mind would fail to pick Sofia Vergara up on the side of the street, especially when those amazing boobs are on display like that?? Sheer madness. If I was a cabbie, and had President Obama in the back of my cab, and he was telling me “Hurry, man, this is a matter of critical National Security!” and I was hauling ass and squealing my tires and doing my best to save the world… and then we went by Sofia with her hand out on a street corner looking like that. Well, I would certainly screech to a halt and give her a ride. A *real* ride if you know what I mean. This lady is insanely curvy. She could probably prop a couple of flutes of champagne on the top of her buttocks, and then just tuck the bottle between those boobies, and be like a human champagne distribution center. I suspect I would knock some stuff loose though when I did my thing.