Elizabeth Hurley’s Pokies are Ageless

There are about a million stories out there about Elizabeth Hurley’s boobs. An no wonder, they are perfectly succulent. This despite the fact that she’s 53 years old. I think it’s time we acknowledge that she will be hot until the day she dies.

Elizabeth Hurley breastsFrankly, I don’t think I’ll ever tire of looking at her boobs. They are perfectly natural, and a solid C-cup or D-cup. And she definitely knows how to show them off. She has 1.1M followers on her instagram account, and there’s a damn good reason for that. I bet if we did a statistical analysis of her instagram followers, we would find 85% of them are male. Because boobs. And of the 15% female, 100% of them are mesmerized by her cleavage and would swap sides to bat for the home team if given a chance in Liz’s particular case.

liz hurley boobiesAspirations to statistical boobie analysis aside, let’s forgive my shaky math when I point out that I’ve been lusting after Lizzie since the first post I did on her back in 2006 – which I think means thirteen years ago. If she is 53 now, that means she was just turning 40 then. I would definitely just as soon shag her at 53 at I would have at 40. Yeah, there were probably a few less miles on her, um, chassis(?) back then, but shaggable is shaggable.

liz soft boobiesFunny story, I think Elizabeth’s butt is really great, but nobody ever sees it. Her boobs are so magnificent, nobody can ever get past them. She’s always showing them off, wearing deep plunging tops or open shirts to emphasize those braless boobs. I’ll also point out that at 53, with perky pretties like that, she dispels the myth that somebody who doesn’t wear a bra will get saggy boobs.

This other post I did in 2006 just makes me chuckle. She had the nerve to show up for a prime time news show where she jitter-bugged around talking with the hosts outside with no bra on. I think everyone there was thinking “NIPPLE ALERT! THIS GIRL HAS POKIES AND THE FCC IS GOING TO FINE US! AND I CAN’T STOP LOOKING!” Make sure you check it out.

Liz Hurley pokiesShe was married in 2007 but divorced in 2011. We can be sure she ruined her Ex (Arun Nayar) for boobs for the rest of his life. I bet that poor guy is now dating some skinny, curveless gal with A-cups. He can’t get around boobs without sighing heavily and pining away for Liz. Poor chap. Those pokies… sigh.

Taking you on a history tour, from 1987 to 2000 she dated Hugh Grant. That dude was actually caught soliciting a hooker while he was dating Liz. Now that, my friends, is a sexaholic. If you have access to the tender thighs and soft mammaries of Liz, and you’re still chasing hookers, you’re probably an addict.

She had a kid back in 2002 when she was 37. So yes, those boobs you see swelled up during childbirth, and are now that much more ready for our nibbles.

I think she’s been in a TV show called The Royals for the last few years. I doubt that even if I put the aluminum foil on my antenna and held it away from the wall I would get that channel, so I haven’t seen the show. Who cares, I just enjoy checking out her nipslips, red carpet pics, and praise the little baby jesus I found a couple of downblouse pics of Liz.

Liz Hurley downblouse 1Liz Hurley downblouse 2

Let me interrupt this program for some Liz Hurley topless photos…
Liz Hurley topless

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Braless Updates FTW

Hey old fogies, here’s a tip: FTW means “for the win” in cool dude speak.

No huge or prolific posts today. I’ve been trying to get caught up on special requests folks have sent in via my contact page and smoke signals.

I added a handful of pokies and boobie photos to the Lynda Carter page.

I added a few photos of the luscious girl-mounds of Ms Sofia Milos, and fixed some weird formatting issues while I was at it.

Jennifer Aniston is a perennial crowd favorite, and I updated one of her pages here. Who knows how old that gal will get before she stops being hot, I’ll probably be dead by then.

Little-known Michelle Monaghen got some love from me, along with her little-sized nipples. I added her instagram account so ya’ll can go cyberstalk her.

I know she hasn’t been bringing the yummy lately (age-related), but one of Lisa Rinna’s pages deserved a few added photos because… well, boobs are boobs.

tanktop pokiesI don’t want to leave you folks with a completely medialess post, so just to keep the masses from revolting, here’s a photo of some braless tanktop pokies. You may be somewhat concerned that this young lady is experiencing a painful cameltoe. Fear not. I’m more than willing to swoop in and yank those panties out of her pudenda-crack with my teeth while avoiding shaking all the cheetoh crumbs out of my belly-button or offending here with my earwax-cicles.

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Chrissy Teigen’s Boobs vs Hineyhole

Chrissy Teigen downblouseAlthough I’ve mentioned her before, Chrissy Teigen has only gotten hotter in the intervening 5 years or so.

I promise you, this girl is 100% au naturale. No silicone, no saline. She occasionally has a case of the mom boobs, leaking milk and all, just depends on what cycle she’s in with her husband John Legend. He must be a Legend in order to score a babe of this magnitude.

The size of her boobs should not be underestimated. We all know a few women who wear underwire pushup bras or even padded bras to help emphasize their bust. And god bless ’em. Thank you ladies, from the bottom of my pants. But Chrissy needs no such tomfoolery. There’s a photo here of her in a brownish/tan-ish swimsuit. You get a good glimpse of sideboob from that pic, and and even better sense of the giganticness of Chrissy’s breastacles. What would you guess, a DD? The interwebz list her as a C, but I can tell you with great authority that info is outdated.

Chrissy Teigen pokies 2Here’s what I like best about Chrissy: she gets it. She understands that her huge boobs drive guys crazy. She knows those mogambos are some of her biggest assets, and she plays to it. She lets them flow around braless. She lets them slip out. Sometimes she’ll go to a red carpet event in a dress slit up to her armpits and no underwear. She giggles when standing around for photos and tries to hide her coochie with her purse. I’ve got a great body, big boobs, and millions of dollars, lets show all this off! That’s what she’s thinking. I hope.

It’s not hard to find every manner of photo and video on Chrissy. I haven’t found any kind of leaked sextape, but pretty much everything else is out there. She has certainly posed nude before. I’ll show a couple of semi-edited shots of that. She does lots of modeling, some game shows, she rubs her crotch on her husband to mark him with her scent. You know, she stays busy.

Chrissy Teigen pokiesShe has published a couple of books. Despite the fact that I’m illiterate and can’t read, except for basic sex words like what you’ll find here on BralessBlog, I got all excited and tracked her books down. They are really boring shit, like cooking and stuff. She’s a curvy lady, and I get the sense that she eats what she wants to eat, then goes on diets so she can fit into her stretchpants and her braless blouses. Her jeans say: huh-uh, ain’t gonna fit. And her yoga pants say: I got yo back girl. Anyway, I would think she would be kind a careful about recommended to people what to cook and how to eat. Not like she’s a fitness queen or anything.

I have one last really appalling piece of trivia for you. She has been married to her husband since 2013, but she famously said in an interview that he had never seen her butthole. That is crazy shit going down right there. Now I can understand that my man John got so pre-occupied with those heavy girlies upstairs that it took him awhile to get down to the bootie. But we ALL KNOW HE’S SEEN HER BUTTHOLE. Now maybe she’s a little prude or a little shy, and doesn’t want him messing with the hineyhole, but regardless, he’s been lookin’ at it. Thinking about it.

Stop lyin’ Chrissy.

Christine Teigen swimsuitChristine Teigen tshirtChristine Teigen nudeChrissy Teigen toiplessChrissy Teigen nipple slipChrissy Teigen nipplesChrissy Teigen braless 2Chriss Teigen bralessChrissy Teigen boobs

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Giada De Laurentiis Nipples Defy the Laws of Physics

I could’ve sworn somewhere on this vast, 10 year-old site I had covered (uncovered?) Giada De Laurentiis. But search as I might, I see nada.

She’s more than just a pretty face; she should be studied by scientists. Because her nipples, teased to the very edge of display, routinely defy the laws of physics.
Giada De Laurentiis tied up boobs

I forgive you if you are sitting there with your iphone knockoff or on your office desktop enjoying BralessBlog but asking “Giada who??” She is a celebrity chef and does stuff on the food network. Or at least I’m told so. I’m to poor to afford cable, and if I could afford cable I’d be too busy watching skinemax to watch the food channel.

Organizing my thoughts is a full time job, trust me. But I have a few things to share about Giada, and I’ll split them up into discrete topics.

1) Giada may be a sex fiend

Giada De Laurentiis cleavageGiada was married for 11 years. After she divorced, there was evidently a lot of gossip around town. It’s odd there’s so much talk of her dragging dudes (sometimes several at once) back to her hotel rooms. She was photographed on vacation with Matt Lauer. Yeah, you know the news guy who was fired for fooling around with have of the NBC staff. The were “just friends”. Un-huh, friends, with big pearly whites and super boobs and no nookie.

2) Giada likes keeping her nipples under wraps

Bikinis, dramatically low-cut tops, freezing cold production sets – none of that matters, we rarely get a glimpse of those pokies. You’ll see some photographic evidence here, and (because I’m awesome) some downblouse shots. But considering the body she has and how willing she seems to show off her cleavage, it’s tough to find shots of her nips. (See below for nip slip gif.)

Giada De Laurentiis pokies 1Giada De Laurentiis pokies 2

3) There’s something going on with Giada De Laurentiis’s crotch

I realize this is “bralessblog”, and you’re here because you goddam love the boobies. I don’t mean to distract you from that. Get a load of all the cleavage you want, bro. (And you too, sis.) But I would be remiss if I didn’t explain to you that Giada’s crotch caught my eye. I realize she’s a mom that’s approaching her 50’s now. Things start to droop and loosen up, I get it. But the few photos I’ve seen of her hoochie area make me think… megalabia. If she really is a sex fiend, maybe her girlparts stay swollen. Maybe she likes to pull on them, kinda like me as I sit around in my barcolounger watching Knight Rider reruns and pulling on my jimmy. I’m just saying: that’s a package.

Giada De Laurentiis crotch 2Giada De Laurentiis crotch 3Giada De Laurentiis crotch 1

4) Giada’s measurements are heavenly

Forget the supermodels with the long legs. Giada is a compact 5’2″ or so. She’s petite, which is a little weird for a chef. But don’t you worry, my girl comes packing a 32 C-cup bust. I like ’em big and small, but sometimes you see an advertised C or D and you think somebody might be fudging the numbers a little. I fudge my number all the time, healthy 4″ here, glad you asked. But anyway, that skinny waist, acceptable butt, and curvy soft boobies are just heavenly.

Giada De Laurentiis cleavageGiada De Laurentiis braless

Here’s about as close as we’re going to come to a nipple slip from Giada (click for the gif)…
Giada De Laurentiis nipple slip gif

Giada De Laurentiis pokies 3Giada De Laurentiis pokies 4Giada De Laurentiis wetGiada De Laurentiis boobs

Let’s not skip over the Giada downblouse 🙂
Giada De Laurentiis downblouse

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Santa Rocks Braless Video

As some of you have noticed, my youtube channel has taken a beating. I don’t want to whine like a little bay-bay, but the prudes at google keep deleting my stuff. Examples:
November – “bralessblogedit 22617” flagged for inappropriate content and deleted
August – “braless video megacompilation” flagged for inappropriate content and deleted
August – “braless walk” flagged and deleted
November 2017 – “huge braless video compilation #4” flagged and deleted

The list goes on.

The “braless video megacompilation” had 1.8 million views! And zero nudity. Give me a break.

Usually I just upload a heavily edited version of my full video to youtube as a preview. Folks that like the preview and want to buy it can do so here on the site.

A few days ago, I created a new video called “Santa Rocks Braless“. It’s about 700mb and sixteen minutes long. For those of you who subscribe to my youtube channel, no you’re not imagining things. I did indeed upload a preview and you probably got a notice that I had added new content. Maybe two hours after I uploaded it, youtube took it down. Too racy, but basically I’m just on their shitlist.

In this case, I’m trying something different.

I’ve posted the entire video here on BralessBlog, but hidden the page. If you want to see it for free, just contact me via my contact form and I’ll email you the page URL. No, I’m not going to spam you. I don’t know how popular this thing is going to be, and I’m worried if I get several hundred users at once streaming it, the server will crash. I’m not youtube after all!

So go -> here if you want a link to the new video.

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Amber Heard Pokies Make Me Cry For My Mamma

Amber Heard pokies 5Brace yourselves, cause I’m about to say something stupid: Amber Heard’s pokies are probably the best ever. Nothing wrong with her boobs, of course, and her nipples deserve an award. But when you combine these yummy things with those eyes, and that hair, and those lips, and that face… as cool as I am (and that is VERY cool, as you know), I just can’t help myself. Total infatuation. And lust. And perversion.

Did I mention her lawyer hired a private detective who came and knocked on my mobile home door and told me to cut out the stalking shit?

Although I am a braless ninja, it can be difficult to find pics of certain celebs or certain categories. But I’m going to be honest: Amber Heard is the easiest ever. This girl doesn’t even own a bra.

It doesn’t matter if she’s going to the gym, stepping out on the red carpet, playing badminton with a kitten, praying at church. She sporting pokies, and she don’t care.

Those nips have cause riots, and calmed serial killers. I bet they smell like vanilla and taste like bacon.

Amber Heard pokies 3Amber has a couple of tattoos. They aren’t an important part of enjoying her breasticles, but since she runs around half-nekkid all the time they’re usually easy to spot. One is a phrase written in a red color and in Spanish. It talks about loving things in secret and in the dark, some gibberish like that. I don’t know about you, but I’d love her with alllll the lights on, right out in the open where errbody could see the copious amounts of love I was giving her. The other one is in Persian. Not sure if we are supposed to assume that she is tri-lingual (Spanish, Persian, Merican)? It talks about the world ending and to be happy since you still exist. If I woke up to Amber’s tattoos every morning, I’d be happy.

Amber Heard pokies 4This girl gets around. Her most famous manfriend is Elon Musk. I think that’s kind of pathetic, since Elon is mega-geeky, no doubt has no idea how to properly lay pipe, and way too damn busy running several global companies like SpaceX and Tesla to ever give her any attention. She dates somebody new every year it seems, but thankfully her patter is quite clear: she prefers those boobies get groped by older dudes. That’s semi-promising for me, except most of those old dudes are rich and suave and I’m poor and moronic.

She was actually married to Johnny Depp for a couple of years, and he’s older than dirt.

I gotta make sure you know, there for awhile Amber was officially a partner of Tasya van Ree. She is a photographer. That means Amber swings both ways, and I guess likes to munch zee carpet. She is noted as being an activist for various causes, but I’ve never seen her come out for gays or lesbians.

Amber was recently in the Aquaman movie. I haven’t seen it, but I sincerely hope she swishes around in high-def for two hours in a very wet costume. We can be damn sure she doesn’t wear a bra.

I actually first saw her in a movie called Never Back Down. I posted about it here in 2009. When I found that post from 9 years ago, I realized the image links were broken and I fixed them. Nine years ago I would’ve had all my hair and mostly-functioning manparts and would’ve had some hope of giving Amber a dirty sanchez on a beach in the Mexican Riviera. Alas, she’s got hotter and I got older.

Amber Heard pokies 6Amber Heard CleavageAmber Heard boobsAmber heard pokies 1Amber Heard pokies 2Amber Heard pokies 7

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