Celebrating the braless women of the universe!

I know it seems like I’m a little obsessed about Sofia Milos. It’s hard not to like a Milf with great boobies. She is such a chipper little cheerleader. Every time I see her she has a big grin on her face. No gothic frowns or grumbles from this lil ms sunshine. She manages to turn this blouse and skirt into a sensual exploration of her sexy body. I bet if I took her to the pool, she would wear a one piece swimsuit and every dude in the place would drop their jaw and drool. You don’t need a thong when you have Milos action. Of course I could wear a thong, but when I do that it chafes my cheeks.

Jessica Simpson knows her body, she has been staring at it in the mirror (and touching it, and feeling it, and maybe kissing it?) for the last 30 years or so. When people talk smack about her being too flabby when she gets up on the stage, I’m sure it hurts. She knows she is a round kinda gal. Obviously, this motivates her to get out and burn a few calories.

She is pretty tough. Despite the fact that she manages to make it look easy, look light on her feet, I know it isn’t easy to jog with girls like that in your sweater. I don’t personally have D-cups, but I have been blessed with abnormally large testicles. Any time I jog, they clank together, flop around, trip me, sometimes drag the ground. I’m very sympathetic to her plight. I would be happy to help her by holding them up while she runs.

Hey, look – I don’t know, okay? I know a bunch of you are going to ask twelve thousand questions when you see this post, so let me head things off at the pass.

I do not know why all these women are dancing around.

I do not know where we an buy tickets to this nutso festival.

I don’t know why everyone’s nipples are poking out.

I don’t know if you can technically call those bras; I’m using my artistic license to say they qualify for inclusion here on everybody’s favorite website.

I don’t know what that might be in the crotch of the one lady’s shorts. It looks… mean, whatever it is. But much like an accident on the side of the road, or inadvertently surfing past WWE Smackdown, or semi-accidentally catching a glimpse of my neighbor changing clothes through the mostly closed blinds of her sunroom window, I can’t really seem to look away. I hear this humming in my ears, and most of my thoughts cease to exist when I lock in on that area. Kind of weird.

Ahhh, gool ole Jennifer Aniston. Keeping up with her permanently erect nipples and perpetually braless boobs would be a full time job for any webmaster. Witness the collection. If I were a woman, I would be like Jen – proud of my boobies, not afraid to point them at a few people. I still have the scene from the movie The Breakup in my head, the one where she walks across the room naked and shows her perfect little tanned tushy. I think I remember reading somewhere that they used a body double for that scene, but hey it’s in my head so it must be real.

One reason it’s so hard to find Hillary Duff pokies is because morons like me type her name wrong. I’ll try to do better, okay? You get what you pay for. Hillary went on a fab vacation the other day and she seemed to be just a wee big chunky in her photos. Weight Watchers could probably do wonders for her, but wouldn’t you rather she parade around in a bikini with her nips poking out a few pounds too heavy as opposed to being too dang skinny? And before you ask, I do not know what that little tattoo says on her right side, but I would like to read it while I tickled it with my puckered lips.

I had to look Candy Dulfer up on wikipedia to figure out who she was and why her boobies make my head spin. Well, who she is doesn’t really have anything to do with why her bust affects me, but you know what I mean. Apparently she is a 39 year old saxophonist from Amsterdam. Every time I think of Amsterdam I think of the time I was stationed there as a member of an elite team of bodyguards for a famous politician. One night after work, a few of us had a bit too much to drink and wandered into the red light district. I’ve never been the same since. Wait a minute, maybe that was a movie I saw? Anyway, Candy definitely knows how to blow.

If we have any other posts on Katie Holmes I sure can’t find them. What’s wrong with me that I never singled her out for a little attention? She certainly is a cutie. As far as I know, she is still Married to Tom Cruise. A little weird, I know, but let’s not let us distract from the fact that she is perky, peppy, and has a pixie haircut (sometimes). Katie has been doing a bit of theater work lately, she can swing by my place and do some acting and singing if she wants. I have a very dirty script in mind.

Ashlee Simpson’s big sis Jessica Simpson is not know for her brainpower. In fact, she is known for her bust power. Ashlee is not far behind in that department. Some have accused little Ashlee of cosmetic surgery, but based on her genetics I think her breasts are natural. The nose job, yes, but no boobs.

Ashlee was recently rumored to have purchased a new Mercedes Benz. She is apparently having trouble with her young husband and blew off some steam by buying a new stud cruiser. Somehow I doubt she wore this dress to the car dealership. If she did, well she probably got a smoking hot deal. The poor salesman would’ve been too astounded and mesmerized by that cleavage to even put up a good fight. I think she could technically fit a bra under that top, but what would the point be? You could see more bra than the law allows. Beautiful, curvy body Ashlee – you keep it up girlfriend.

Cheryl Cole has won our attention before. Her girls are perky and pointy, and that’s what we do here at BB. We are the kings of perky and pointy, we reward these attributes with our rapt attention. I do not need any drugs for attention deficit disorder when Cheryl is around.

Here’s what she was thinking this day:
Hmm, the blue top or the salmon colored one? Let’s go with blue.
Bra? Nah.
Maybe I should take a sweater, might rain today.
Oops, forgot my sweater and it’s raining and it’s actually kind of cold out here. Darn right nippy.
Speaking of nippy, there are those pesky photographers again.
I think I’ll just jog over to the other side of the street. Maybe they will leave me alone over there.
Oh gosh, all this bouncing and cold air has aroused my nipples. Do you think those photographers can see them?
What about that pubescent boy sitting on that park bench right there? Jeesh, look how big his eyes just got. My nips must be poking out. I think I’ll look down and see.