Braless Blog

Although she’s 49 years old now, you may remember Kristy Swanson (and her braless boobs) from a few years ago.

I guess most people would remember her from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Not me, though. I remember her from the movie The Chase with Charlie Sheen. In this movie she plays a wealthy lady who gets kidnapped by a criminal and they go on a long car chase. Disregarding any silly and nearly useless plot elements, Kristy looks like a busty bronze goddess in the movie.

It was released in 1994, I think it was rated R, and I just remember seeing it in the theaters and nearly howling with sexual frustration when she whips her shirt off and climbs into Charlie’s lap while he’s driving that car.

Kristy did some stuff before, and some stuff after, but nothing that ever woke my willy. There are a number of juicy tidbits related to her life though.

She started dating Alan Thicke when she was 17 and he was 40. Yes, I’m talking about the Growing Pains dad and talk show host. That dude was a hornball and dated/married every hot model chick he every came across. I digress; I think Kristy clearly had a thing for daddy types.

Also, she was arrested for assault in 2007. Some crazy deal where she stole this lady’s figure skating husband when they met on a show called Skating with Celebrities, but then the two got in a cat fight later and beat each other up. I think I’ve seen an adult video of this where the two beat each other with pillows while partially clothed and in prison?

She did have a baby, so clearly we are now dealing with a milf.

I’ve noticed this thing about Kristy where she squints her eyes. This could be because she is trying to look cool. I do that all the time. Doesn’t work for me, but then again my boobs aren’t awesome like Kristy’s. Or it could be because she needs glasses and she refuses to wear them. Again, kind of like me.

None of that matters when you consider how wonderful her busoms are. It really doesn’t bother me that she’s turned into a Hallmark movie queen, because frankly I fell in love with her cleavage back in 1994 and have never recovered.

I’m pretty sure she posed nude for adult magazine one time, but I’m not going to post those photos because I’m trying to be angelic today. I’ve posted enough photographic evidence to convince you that her c-cups are truly happy bags, and she deserves her spot on the list of famous braless celebs.

If not, here’s a clip of the movie trailer. Knowing my luck with youtube, they will delete the movie from this stranger’s account and call the FBI and also tell my mommy on me.

Seriously, these pokies pictures of her make me want to whine like a hyperventilating dog. Those nipples look voracious, possibly life-altering.

Sarah Silverman has boobs, and she wants you to know it.

Some chicks don’t mind showing them off, but they are very selective. They don’t want any “creeps” to be staring at them. Sarah ain’t that way. God gave her a gift, and she wants to share them with errrbody.

I knew who Sarah was, vaguely, but it wasn’t until recently that I saw a photo of her with her boobs hanging out and realized what I had been missing!

As a comedian, nothing has been off limits for her. She routine makes raunchy comments, and leaves nothing to the imagination when she picks topics. She has been accused of being a racist, she’s Jewish, she campaigned for Hillary, she’s all over the map.

She also says that comedian Louis C.K. masturbated in front of her, and she allowed (enjoyed?) it. They were friends, and hey, friends help each other out. Combine that with the fact that she admits she’s struggled with depression her whole life, and we can pretty much surmise she’s as crazy as a shit-house bat.

There have been a few nude scenes over the years. And why not? If I had a body like that I’d shake it for money too. There have been a few unfortunate glimpses of a wookie bush. One Sarah becomes my girlfriend, I will definitely convince her to give that thing a trim every now and then. Nobody wants to get lost in a jungle pubes. Maybe she usually does trim, but the directors of the movie thought it would be more “real” to let ‘er grow? Let’s hope so.

She’s 48 now, and there’s no sign that those boobs are drooping down to her navel. I’m sure they aren’t as perky as they used to be, but I think she’s taken good enough care of herself that she is still a bionic sex machine. In fact, I kinda wonder if in her late 40’s her libido isn’t revving up and she’s working her boyfriend out 7 days a week. Or maybe a pillow or a sybian on her lunchbreak.

I don’t think she’s married, she’s too progressive for that.

Although I’ve mentioned her before, Chrissy Teigen has only gotten hotter in the intervening 5 years or so.

I promise you, this girl is 100% au naturale. No silicone, no saline. She occasionally has a case of the mom boobs, leaking milk and all, just depends on what cycle she’s in with her husband John Legend. He must be a Legend in order to score a babe of this magnitude.

The size of her boobs should not be underestimated. We all know a few women who wear underwire pushup bras or even padded bras to help emphasize their bust. And god bless ’em. Thank you ladies, from the bottom of my pants. But Chrissy needs no such tomfoolery. There’s a photo here of her in a brownish/tan-ish swimsuit. You get a good glimpse of sideboob from that pic, and and even better sense of the giganticness of Chrissy’s breastacles. What would you guess, a DD? The interwebz list her as a C, but I can tell you with great authority that info is outdated.

Here’s what I like best about Chrissy: she gets it. She understands that her huge boobs drive guys crazy. She knows those mogambos are some of her biggest assets, and she plays to it. She lets them flow around braless. She lets them slip out. Sometimes she’ll go to a red carpet event in a dress slit up to her armpits and no underwear. She giggles when standing around for photos and tries to hide her coochie with her purse. I’ve got a great body, big boobs, and millions of dollars, lets show all this off! That’s what she’s thinking. I hope.

It’s not hard to find every manner of photo and video on Chrissy. I haven’t found any kind of leaked sextape, but pretty much everything else is out there. She has certainly posed nude before. I’ll show a couple of semi-edited shots of that. She does lots of modeling, some game shows, she rubs her crotch on her husband to mark him with her scent. You know, she stays busy.

She has published a couple of books. Despite the fact that I’m illiterate and can’t read, except for basic sex words like what you’ll find here on BralessBlog, I got all excited and tracked her books down. They are really boring shit, like cooking and stuff. She’s a curvy lady, and I get the sense that she eats what she wants to eat, then goes on diets so she can fit into her stretchpants and her braless blouses. Her jeans say: huh-uh, ain’t gonna fit. And her yoga pants say: I got yo back girl. Anyway, I would think she would be kind a careful about recommended to people what to cook and how to eat. Not like she’s a fitness queen or anything.

I have one last really appalling piece of trivia for you. She has been married to her husband since 2013, but she famously said in an interview that he had never seen her butthole. That is crazy shit going down right there. Now I can understand that my man John got so pre-occupied with those heavy girlies upstairs that it took him awhile to get down to the bootie. But we ALL KNOW HE’S SEEN HER BUTTHOLE. Now maybe she’s a little prude or a little shy, and doesn’t want him messing with the hineyhole, but regardless, he’s been lookin’ at it. Thinking about it.

Stop lyin’ Chrissy.