Braless Brides

I have historically focused on bridesmaids and reception-goers in my wedding posts. But I think it’s time to cover a few brides. Not “cover” them, we want them uncovered, but you know what I mean.

Apparently getting married is like a drug to women. They get all giddy, and their pupils dilate, and they start saying yes a lot. I’ve heard some dirty wedding photographers say they routinely ask to take “boudoir” photos if an upcoming bride seems particularly pliable. And then on occasion, if they say yes, one thing leads to another and the photographer ends up getting laid by the future bride just before the wedding.

Now, maybe these guys are BS’ing me. But it seems to make sense. After all, I have a degree in amateur hoochie-mamma psychology from Walmart University.

Another little known fact, at least to us guys, is chicks love to get their wedding dress on in front of other chicks. Maybe part of it is fellowship. Maybe part of it is kinda rubbing it in their face. I’m getting married to this stud, and you’re not. Check out my body. Yep, he loves all this. He loves me and not you. It’s because my body is fabu-fuckin-loso and I have a platimum puss. Bam, rub it in your face.

Women can be cruel and heartless, especially to each other. Maybe that’s why there are so many snaps of gals getting dressed for their weddings. Other chicks take the pics, and then send them around the web as retribution. That bitch thinks she can taunt me with her hot wedding body? Does she not realize anyone can starve themselves for 2 months before a wedding an lose a little pudge? I’ll show her, that hussy. I’m gonna mail her braless photos to her ex.

Whatever the reason, it’s a thing. I kinda like collecting photos of girls doing dirty things on their wedding days. Some of them are not fit to be posted here, cause hey I try to keep it non-nude and simply perverted. Braless we can deal with, but goo’d up and spread is probably a little much, at least for bralessblog.

And no, you wankers, don’t email me asking for more raunchy photos. Welll, unless you have something to trade. You’d be surprised at how many folks contact me asking for more photos/videos of this gal or that gal. A bunch of stalkers, I tell ya. Including women. Women get smitten, and contact me begging. Maybe some of the bridesmaids in these photos will recognize themselves and want more memory photos to wank with.

Ah well, so much for the purity of the bide and the sanctity of marriage. Errrbody’s gotta get off, including horny brides. The grooms probably got dragged to a raunchy bachelor party, and are all empty, spent, and maybe a little nervous that they picked up something worse than the common cold from the stripper who turned out to do more than strip.

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Biking Boobs

bike cleavageI was driving down the road yesterday in my rusty Yugo, belching oily exhaust and trying to kill as many trees as possible, when I nearly had a head-on crash with a gal on a bicycle. She was fully equipped with a day-glow orange helmet, an LED light on her handlebars, and the fancy zip-up jerseys that you see everyone wearing these days. The funny thing is, she had that jersey unzipped halfway to her bellybutton, her boobs were spilling out, and it was quite distracting.

And I realized: this is actually a thing.

Biking boobs! A new fetish for me to, umm, enjoy!

bike boobs 2Yes, I’ve certainly dabbled in the art of the downblouse before. It can be so yummy to enjoy a peak down a busty lady’s shirt. But this is kind of taking it to a whole different level, or at least a whole different direction.

Watching those sweaty boobies wobble to and fro while your favorite cyclist is hunched over the handlebars is mighty fun.

bike pokiesAnd like everything else these days, chicks are trying to make a living unzipping for the camera. Social media posts are blowing up when these gals grin at the camera and snap a selfie with their perkies poking. Other women are jealous, and can’t leave it alone. And guys like up click and until our clicking fingers are numb.

All in all, I think it’s a great way to turn a kind of boring sport into and excellent perversion-fest.

braless bikerOccasionally you can find some wanton woman enjoying her bike ride just like nature intended – unfettered by a bra, and with those boobs deliciously unbound. Who wants to squash their boobies up in a sportsbra? Nope, not you and I. Screw it ladies, let’s slip into one of those sexy, silky jersies with no underwear or bra. And make sure your nipples are visible. And make sure that jersey rides up into the crack of your butt, and gives you a pretty soft, solid cameltoe.

Because I’m so damn awesome, I actually dug up the “old” braless bicycling video I posted to youtube awhile back. In four years, it has received around 180k views. In this case, the emphasis is on “braless” rather than biking, as this girl (with some truly ginormous knockers) isn’t exactly a world-class cyclist.

I actually got a notice the other day that youtube took down one of my videos called “braless walk”. Zero nudity, nothing raunchy, just somewhat provocative. So click the thumbs up and enjoy it while you can, who knows how long videos like this will stay up.

And after the embedded video, I’ve attached a handful of other biker babe photos. Cause I’m actually too lazy to annotate or describe them, but none of us are too lazy to enjoy them 🙂

bike cleavage 2biking boobies 3unzipped jerseyserious cleavagebiking sideboobbiking nipples

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More Braless Summer Babes Video

I know it’s a little out of character for me, but I worked extra-extra hard and put together yet another video. A quick turnaround!

This one is officially to celebrate our 10,000th youtube subscriber. On the one hand, it’s amazing that the youtube channel is still around and 10k people hit the subscribe button. On the other hand, I’m totally not surprised that there are 10k perverts out there clicking and slobber all over these boobie videos.

As I did last time, I created a shorter preview video and uploaded it to youtube. You can find that video embedded below. If you want to see the full 20 min video (caution, there is some nudity 🙂 use the purchase link below.

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Sporty Pokies

Aly Raisman pokiesAly Raisman is (obviously) a hot gymnast who bounced to fame in the London Olympics in 2012. She had some trouble with a creepy doctor, and became a bit of a spokesperson for the feminist movement. She also doesn’t mind posing nude, was that for Sports Illustrated? By the way, she has 2.3M followers on Instagram, so I guess you could say she’s popular. Rather curvy, but difficult to find those pokey pics of her.

Although I’m too fat to run, I at least appreciate running. And especially women who run… and get sweaty… and have nipples poking out of their sportswear. Seriously, one Saturday morning when you’re feeling less lazy, set your alarm and climb out of bed and go check out a local 5k run. The chicks love to huff and puff and weeble-wobble through the 5k’s. It makes them feel like they are accomplishing something, and leaves them feeling less guilty about stuffing their face with carbs and hamburgers later in the day.

runner pokies 1runner pokies 2

It’s not uncommon to see incredibly hot beach volleyball chicks with pokies. Obviously it’s a hot, sweaty exercise. A sportsbra or a bikini top gets a little wet, those boobies get jiggled a bit, and BAM here come the pokies.

beach volleyball pokies 1beach volleyball pokies 2beach volleyball pokies 3

I can’t go to swim meets. Seeing chicks in those super-tight swimsuits, and knowing they are all wet and have nothing on underneath gives me the shivers. Last time I tried this, I ended up humping a trash can in the lobby of an artsy-fartsy YMCA. You would think these swimwear manufacturers would know to double up on the material in the crotch and nipple areas to keep the goods from showing through. Maybe they do, and babes just keep buying cheap Chinese knockoffs.

swimmer pokies 1swimmer pokies 2swimmer pokies 3

Occasionally those knockout crossfit gals pop up in their tiny sportsbras with their washboard abs and their inflated boobs and they make me sick. By sick I mean aroused and panting. It wasn’t that long ago that I did the post about hardbodies. You might think I have a thing for muscular babes, but really I appreciate allll shapes and sizes.

workout pokies 1workout pokies 2

No post talking about sporty chicks and boobs is complete if you don’t cover tennis. Ana Ivanovic, Jennifer Capriati, and Martina Hingis have been known to smuggle a few raisins in their shirts. I can’t imagine trying to coach a hot chick who bounces around on a court all day in a short skirt and her nipples poking out. It would be a recipe for disaster, likely to end up with me trying to get crusted on kleenex scratched off various parts of my body.

I’ll leave you with a random gymnastics babe who is certainly not contained in a bra and just might have eaten a camel toe for breakfast. Also while I’m at it, a perfectly timed shot of a volleyball goddess hitting a serve at the top of her jump, with her pokies highlighted like she’s standing in a perverted spotlight.

gymnastics pokieindoor volleyball pokies

Other swimmer pokies.
A very tightly stretched sportsbra.

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Braless Summer Boobies Video

Now ya’ll know the story behind me braless awesomeness and youtube.

I made a super-bad 18 minute long video to celebrate Summer Boobies. Because I’m a nice guy, I created a “youtube friendly” preview file. I shrunk it down to around 8 minutes, and cut out some of the more risque stuff.

If you want the youtube channel to stay up, you should probably head over there and give some of the videos a thumbs up, and subscribe. When you do that, it tells youtube not to penalize me for putting… um, good stuff up there.

If you want to purchase the full video, you can click here:

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Braless Gals in Cocktail Dresses Make My Willie Happy

There’s no need for me to be pretentious or put on airs. I like dirty trailer park girls just as much as I like the sophisticated country club mammas with their fake ta-tas.

As I may have mentioned before, I have quite a thing for braless babes in dresses. Let’s cover (uncover?) a few, shall we?

dress pokies 1This skinny little thang is built like a brick shithouse. She has a rack on her that likes to sit up straight and talk back dirty. Do ya think she might have forgotten her bra today? Hmm, let’s stand out in the middle of the street with a semi-embarrassed smile on our face while this dude takes a picture of my nipples. No tune-in-Tokyo please.

dress pokies 2This blondie is so glamorous, she may be on her way to a Halloween costume party where she is dressing up as Marilyn Monroe. The droop of those unsupported boobs, and the way the material of her dress clings to every little bump and ridge on her nipples makes me want to thank the good lord for mammary glands. That hair though, mmm wanta grab it and pull it.

dress pokies 3Lookit what we have here. I plump, curvy little babe in her late twenties who has chosen to go to the wedding shower in a dress that is just destined to gape open and earn her lots of perverted stares from guys as horny as you and me. The cleavage alone would be enough, but to add into the mix the hint of her pokie nipples, alas my willie salutes you.

dress pokies 5Hold the fricken phone! This gal’s raspy, crazy-hard nipples, which are apparently approaching the rating of diamond-like on the hardness scale, are about to rip right through the material of her flimsy cocktail dress. Just as importantly, she seems exuberantly happy about it. Me too! Plus, I can kinda see through to your yummy hips! And maybe no panties! Hooray!

Wait. You thought I was through, didn’t you. Woot-woot! There’s more! Continue reading

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