She is young, dumb, and (not) broke, and for whatever reason, Bella Thorne doesn’t like her nipples.
I suppose I should freely admit that I had not idea who this gal was. On the one hand, I see her body and think “damn, look what I’ve been missing!” On the other hand… well, my johnson is in my other hand. On the other hand she is popular with a crowd that doesn’t run with old fogies like me.
She currently has 17.4 million followers on her Instagram account (link below). I figure each of her followers paypal’s $1 to her every day begging her to post photos like this one of her mind-numbing cleavage.
Not to rub it in (off?), but she also has 7 million twitter followers. Is that a lot? I mean, that sounds like a lot. She must be insanely popular. Is she gonna run for president in a couple of years?
I feel slightly pervy that I’m rapping on her, considering she’s only 20. I *am* pervy, so I guess I should say I feel incrementally pervy.
I took a look at her filmography, and I definitely did not recognize a single thing on there. She has been active since 2003. Some of the titles sound kinda risque, so she deserves my perverted attention.
Also, as you’ve noticed by now, she likes to dress in a rather provocative manner.
Very important factoid here:
she has admitted that she’s bisexual. The fact that she bats for both teams only increases her desirability.
I can only hope to interject here with my fervent and fertile love of this yellow bikini photo. Yes, I tend to stare at those vacant eyes and thing I would love to bring some life to them. Yes, I lust after her boobies. But her crotch in this pic makes my heart hammer in my chest. Oh, how I would love to stroke that kitty.
She was doing the humpty-hump with Scott Disick. I’m not expert, but I think he was the Long John dating (married to?) Kourtney Kardashian awhile back. I mention this because he is 34, which is only like 70 years younger than yours truly, which proves I clearly have a chance.
Regarding the carpet-munching, she instagram’d herself lip-locking some blonde. This clearly has some impact on her ginormous instragram following.
The interwebz swear that Bella is 5’8″ tall and wears a 30A bra. That simply cannot be true. I have been studying those boobies for a few minutes now, and I’m really quite certain they are a solid B-cup. Errr, maybe C. There is some evidence online suggesting she had a boob job. It’s fine with me either way, but it would help explain the growth.
Frankly, I intended to only post a few photos of Bella’s boobs, but it was kinda hard to stop. I kept going and going. There are plenty of racy pics of her, including the obligatory pokie nipple shots. Hey, that’s why you hit up the celeb pokie section right? Anyway, my self-discipline for not looking is sucky. So I have wasted an inordinate amount of time.
Bella clearly loves to show off and act out. The piercings and the slouching around half nude and documenting it online, yep she has an attention disorder. She swears she does weight lifting, circuit training, and kickboxing. There’s no mention of whether she likes to lift the big sausage, but I’m willing to be her personal trainer in that endeavor.
Her dad was Cuban, and her mom was Italian. I’m not sure where she gets that fair skin… but I’d like to mark it up.
I couldn’t help but sniff around her siblings. Wouldn’t it be interesting if she had a sister or two, and they were even hotter than she was? Welllll… BAM! She does! And they are!
Not to put too fine of a point on it, but her sister Dani Thorne has better boobs than Bella. And her sister Kaili Thorne also has mongo mellons.
Listen, I may be a broke maniac living in a mobile home park and whacking my willie for a hobby, but I’m no dummy. If you have three Thorne sisters with nice boobies, I figured it probably means mamma Thorne has breastacles too. Ummmm, guess what. She does! Yummy!
Bella’s mom’s name is Tamara Thorne. TT? Yeah, her initials are appropriate. I’m guessing those girlies are at least a D, probably even a lewd-o-licious DD. If I just had a little more patience, I think there’s a chance I could turn up either a great pokie pick of Tamara, or maybe a photo of all three of the Thorne sisters frolicking in the surf braless and transparent.
I feels so proud of myself for peeling a few layers of the Thorne onion back and discovering the hotness lurking below the surface.
Update from 5/25/18:
If you had a body like that, you would wear lingerie out in public for your morning coffee too.
link to Bella’s Instagram account
link to her twitter account
Bella very slightly reminds me of Dakota Johnson. Andy anyway, the yellow bikini could even be the same one 🙂