Entries Tagged 'Celebrity Pokies' ↓

Katy Perry I pretty quirky. I’m pretty sure she wears a wig, but don’t quote me on that. I’m really not much of a hair expert. As gigantic and tantalizing as her braless melons are, helpmemamma I’m still staring at those big eyes and perfect teeth. When you live in a trailer park like I do, women just don’t come equipped with teefers like that.

When I say Lisa Rinna gets serious, I’m obviously not talking about her cap. Her cap is seriously dorky. What I’m talking about are those pokies. Give me a break. I’m sure Lisa has been “enhanced.” Hey, these days everybody in Hollywood has a boob job, even Mel Gibson. But did she get a nipple job too? If so, that rocks. And her nipples rock too. They could cut rocks. Her tshirt is so tight and so thin, and her nips on so clearly displayed, it’s almost like she’s wearing latex. If you were a guy behind her in the checkout line at the grocery store, everybody would be calling you a pervert, because you wouldn’t be able to stop staring. But how could you help yourself?

Maybe Kate Price got a ride on a friend’s Harley Davidson and was possessed by some kind of pole dancing demon. This happens to me sometimes. I’ll be watching a Nascar race or maybe mowing the grass and I’ll suddenly get an overwhelming urge to swing around a shiny pole and show off my bootay. Kate has more stuff to show off than I do, and many more people want to see it.

Agnes Bruckner grew up in a Hollywood lifestyle. Her parents where European, and her mother started her out in dance, voice lessons, and even beauty pageants. She started starring in movies at an early age, including one with Sandra Bullock. She is hot, cute, perky, and apparently an exhibitionist. Nice nips on that one.

Who would’ve thought back when we were watching her bee-bop around in the Addams Family that we’d get a boner over pictures of Christina Ricci walking across a parking lot braless. I’m guessing she proceeded to climb into a $100,000 Mercedes or BMW, but I swear that has nothing to do with the trouser snake action. When she was younger, her parents divorced and she was a cutter. You know, the self-injury thing. That’s a little creepy. But did I mention that she is not wearing a bra and she’s kind of sexy? She is known as an activist so I probably won’t marry her.

Holy crap, Batman. Kelly Rippa is ripped. She must workout like a fiend. She would be the next Weight Watchers spokesman, but a) she’s so busy doing Electrolux commercials she has no extra time, b) she would be accused of being anorexic and have no connection whatsoever to the pudgy audience she was trying to reach. I don’t mind here age, I like her body (especially those big pythons she’s sporting), but seriously man… the belly button thing has me freaked out. I can just imagine taking her to some swanky restaurant or party and she’s in a silky dress and the light is just right and bystanders start to wonder if she has a little peepee sticking out of her flat tummy. I’m not trying to be cruel, or an A-hole, I’m just saying. That is a big prominent belly button and I try not to look at it myself.