Telescopic Boobie Calculations

This is probably a celebrity or some famous person, but I’m just too deranged and forgetful at the moment to recognize her. Those crazy forearm tattoos should be quite distinguishing. I think we can all agree that we need to see more of her here on BralessBlog. So if you know who she is, do us all a favor and leave a comment or send me a note via the contact form.

telescopic boobs picWhile we are ignoring her scandalous tattoos, we will also need to forgive her for her dirty skirt. Maybe it’s just an artifact in the photo, but she appears to have spots of dirt and debris all over her bottom half. Which is actually a little funny, cause after I got done with her she would probably have debris all over her top half. It’s definitely the top half that has all my attention. Those boobs are literally telescopic. They are quite large, D-cups at least don’t you think? And the way the elastic in her romper gathers in the material just under her chest is simply delicious. Is that causing some kind of odd visual effect, thus explaining the way those girls project out?

Let’s do some quick calculations for these telescopic boobs. Let’s assume this little goddess is 5’5″ tall. So from her waist to the top of her head, she should be 2’8″. If I take a measurement from where her bust first starts to swell outwards to the bottom of the droop against her ribcage, I can mark it and scale it. It looks like that measurement is about 1/3 of the first measurement. So now we can say her breast height is 1/3 of 2’8″, or 16″. We can further assume those yummy motorboatees have a 45 degree droopage angle. So basic trigonometry tells us that the boobie stick-out distance will be the breast height multiplied by the sin of 45 degrees. That would be 16″ x 0.707. Thus, we have calculated her boobs are sticking out 11″.

boob calculations diagram

I think it’s fair to say that will definitely get your attention, especially when combined with two other very critical (perverted) factors:
1) Pokies that are so apparent and vicious they could probably pop a balloon.
2) Braless action combined with loose fitting clothes and most likely high heels. I mention that because I figure she’s clip-clopping around in those heels, and those boobs are bouncing all over the place.

I realize that with these calculations I have taken my braless depravity to new heights. I sorta can’t help myself. I was probably scarred for life at a young age when my babysitter asked me to ride a roller coaster with her and she happened to be wearing a white reebok tanktop with no bra. Yeah, true story, maybe you’ll get the scoop another day.

braless white tanktop

In the meantime, we can enjoy this blonde who is both grinning and spreading while sporting the braless look in a white tanktop. I have specifically selected this boobage because they exemplify non-telescopic boobs. Yes, they are pretty perky and stick out, but they aren’t like the projectiles from girl number one. You see, here at BB, we want a little variety. Keeps mr happy, well… er, happy. I really can’t imagine what this girl is smiling about, but thank god for women you know what I mean? I would vote for this gal for president as long as she promised to always wear those shorts and spread her legs like that at every single white house dinner.

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