I personally don’t believe in washing cars. My car is a 2005 and it’s nice and it’s fast and it is my certified stud cruiser. But it’s dirty. I think I last washed it back in 2008. I keep it clean inside because the babes dig it when they get into the little black leather cocoon and it’s all clean, but I don’t worry about the outside too much. Am I a pervert if I drive by those high school car wash stations where students are trying to generate extra money for their clubs or school or whatever and I think, hmmm she is hot. I mean, they are probably close to the age of consent, have woman lumps and everything. Here are a couple of shots (not taken by me, it was some other pervert) of some amateur carwash pokies.
No, the dude on the right is not me. But let me explain what’s going on here. His name is Marwan Linski. He is a famous hypnotist. He is saying:
Look at the swirling graphic on my imitation iphone. See it? It’s goooood. See it swirl?
You are feeling very sleepy.
You look at me and think I’m very creepy.
But I’m not. I’m hot. A lot.
You feel very relaxed. Mmm, so relaxed.
You want to take your bra off and lie down on my memory foam mattress.
Oh, what’s that? You aren’t wearing a bra?
Yessss. Your breasts feel very relaxed.
Stare at the swirly.
When I say Lisa Rinna gets serious, I’m obviously not talking about her cap. Her cap is seriously dorky. What I’m talking about are those pokies. Give me a break. I’m sure Lisa has been “enhanced.” Hey, these days everybody in Hollywood has a boob job, even Mel Gibson. But did she get a nipple job too? If so, that rocks. And her nipples rock too. They could cut rocks. Her tshirt is so tight and so thin, and her nips on so clearly displayed, it’s almost like she’s wearing latex. If you were a guy behind her in the checkout line at the grocery store, everybody would be calling you a pervert, because you wouldn’t be able to stop staring. But how could you help yourself?
Maybe Kate Price got a ride on a friend’s Harley Davidson and was possessed by some kind of pole dancing demon. This happens to me sometimes. I’ll be watching a Nascar race or maybe mowing the grass and I’ll suddenly get an overwhelming urge to swing around a shiny pole and show off my bootay. Kate has more stuff to show off than I do, and many more people want to see it.
