I caint wait much longer. Jordan Carver gotsta marry me right away. With my incredibly virile body, I am afraid to have premarital sex with Jordan because she would likely become pregnant. Even if I were to wear a full body condom like Leslie and Priscilla in that one movie, a few million of my swimmies would get out and she would immediately start growing a beach ball in her tummy. Shoot, even cats walking along the fence outside aren’t truly safe when I get turned on and start launching. There is only one person in the world who can get ladies more pregnant through more barriers, and that’s Chuck Norris. And he only allows himself to BLAM! one time per year, so there’s much less risk.
Anywho, Jordan is lookin fine. A girl with her body type tends to be kinda endomorphic and prone to putting a little weight on. But as you can see, she is staying skinny and really looking forward to squeezing into that wedding dress and sashaying down the aisle with yours truly.
Speaking of Chuck, I need to give him a ring and ask him to teach me a few karate moves. You see, once Jordan and I are married, I will have to fend off all you other horny jackals to keep her allll mine.
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As predicted in the braless milfs post, milf #4 was the winner. She has generated more hits than anybody else this month, and I can clearly see at least two good reasons. A somewhat distant second was the semi-shy looking gal #3 in our braless women 19 post. That was a little bit of a surprise given how many babes we gawk at every month, but man she has some fiiiine assets and I’m willing to give you guys/gals credit for being able to pick them out from a crowd.
Due to some slight, er, consistency problems, I failed to mention last month’s favorite rack I mean babe. Gal number one from braless women 18 has the honor. She basically blew our server up in April, and continues to generate some high demand. I personally can’t seem to get enough of watching her squash those soft melons around in that gray shirt, and the little flash of imperfect and yet irresistible tummy absolutely seals the deal. I wish we could see her face, but as my grandpappy used to say, wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up first. I think this was his way of saying quit beating off so much to all these braless babes. But really, he could have meant wishes aren’t worth much. So here, let me offer a $50 award to any of our readers that can offer up conclusive proof (that means photos, you dorks) showing additional photos of her, properly documenting whether she has snaggleteeth, hairy warts, or a very satisfying support of my fantasy that she looks like a 30 year old goddess.
Sarah Jones is a 28 year old actress who has been in a bunch of little stuff that you’ve never heard of. Not included in the list of stuff she’s been in is my pants. Which is a shame, because those boobies look like they could for sure use a little of my special attention. One the one hand, they seem to have a little droop. On the other hand, they appear to be all (deliciously) natural. And when you consider both hands together, well motorboating would be the least perverted thing I would do to the gal. Whatdya figure, those are big c-cups, maybe d-cups? Oh yeah, I would get up in there. She’s in Alcatraz, a show I’ve never seen and won’t make it a point to carve time out of my busy life to see. I’ve heard she is dating this guy named Theo Rossi, who is a rat fink looking dude if ever I have seen one. Sarah is very pretty and very curvy, so those soft breasts and most excellent hips deserve a man of my caliber. I have never been called a rat fink, yet another fantastic reason Sarah should consider getting in my pants. Speaking of Mrs Jones…
