Giada De Laurentiis Nipples Defy the Laws of Physics

I could’ve sworn somewhere on this vast, 10 year-old site I had covered (uncovered?) Giada De Laurentiis. But search as I might, I see nada.

She’s more than just a pretty face; she should be studied by scientists. Because her nipples, teased to the very edge of display, routinely defy the laws of physics.
Giada De Laurentiis tied up boobs

I forgive you if you are sitting there with your iphone knockoff or on your office desktop enjoying BralessBlog but asking “Giada who??” She is a celebrity chef and does stuff on the food network. Or at least I’m told so. I’m to poor to afford cable, and if I could afford cable I’d be too busy watching skinemax to watch the food channel.

Organizing my thoughts is a full time job, trust me. But I have a few things to share about Giada, and I’ll split them up into discrete topics.

1) Giada may be a sex fiend

Giada De Laurentiis cleavageGiada was married for 11 years. After she divorced, there was evidently a lot of gossip around town. It’s odd there’s so much talk of her dragging dudes (sometimes several at once) back to her hotel rooms. She was photographed on vacation with Matt Lauer. Yeah, you know the news guy who was fired for fooling around with have of the NBC staff. The were “just friends”. Un-huh, friends, with big pearly whites and super boobs and no nookie.

2) Giada likes keeping her nipples under wraps

Bikinis, dramatically low-cut tops, freezing cold production sets – none of that matters, we rarely get a glimpse of those pokies. You’ll see some photographic evidence here, and (because I’m awesome) some downblouse shots. But considering the body she has and how willing she seems to show off her cleavage, it’s tough to find shots of her nips. (See below for nip slip gif.)

Giada De Laurentiis pokies 1Giada De Laurentiis pokies 2

3) There’s something going on with Giada De Laurentiis’s crotch

I realize this is “bralessblog”, and you’re here because you goddam love the boobies. I don’t mean to distract you from that. Get a load of all the cleavage you want, bro. (And you too, sis.) But I would be remiss if I didn’t explain to you that Giada’s crotch caught my eye. I realize she’s a mom that’s approaching her 50’s now. Things start to droop and loosen up, I get it. But the few photos I’ve seen of her hoochie area make me think… megalabia. If she really is a sex fiend, maybe her girlparts stay swollen. Maybe she likes to pull on them, kinda like me as I sit around in my barcolounger watching Knight Rider reruns and pulling on my jimmy. I’m just saying: that’s a package.

Giada De Laurentiis crotch 2Giada De Laurentiis crotch 3Giada De Laurentiis crotch 1

4) Giada’s measurements are heavenly

Forget the supermodels with the long legs. Giada is a compact 5’2″ or so. She’s petite, which is a little weird for a chef. But don’t you worry, my girl comes packing a 32 C-cup bust. I like ’em big and small, but sometimes you see an advertised C or D and you think somebody might be fudging the numbers a little. I fudge my number all the time, healthy 4″ here, glad you asked. But anyway, that skinny waist, acceptable butt, and curvy soft boobies are just heavenly.

Giada De Laurentiis cleavageGiada De Laurentiis braless

Here’s about as close as we’re going to come to a nipple slip from Giada (click for the gif)…
Giada De Laurentiis nipple slip gif

Giada De Laurentiis pokies 3Giada De Laurentiis pokies 4Giada De Laurentiis wetGiada De Laurentiis boobs

Let’s not skip over the Giada downblouse 🙂
Giada De Laurentiis downblouse

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Santa Rocks Braless Video

As some of you have noticed, my youtube channel has taken a beating. I don’t want to whine like a little bay-bay, but the prudes at google keep deleting my stuff. Examples:
November – “bralessblogedit 22617” flagged for inappropriate content and deleted
August – “braless video megacompilation” flagged for inappropriate content and deleted
August – “braless walk” flagged and deleted
November 2017 – “huge braless video compilation #4” flagged and deleted

The list goes on.

The “braless video megacompilation” had 1.8 million views! And zero nudity. Give me a break.

Usually I just upload a heavily edited version of my full video to youtube as a preview. Folks that like the preview and want to buy it can do so here on the site.

A few days ago, I created a new video called “Santa Rocks Braless“. It’s about 700mb and sixteen minutes long. For those of you who subscribe to my youtube channel, no you’re not imagining things. I did indeed upload a preview and you probably got a notice that I had added new content. Maybe two hours after I uploaded it, youtube took it down. Too racy, but basically I’m just on their shitlist.

In this case, I’m trying something different.

I’ve posted the entire video here on BralessBlog, but hidden the page. If you want to see it for free, just contact me via my contact form and I’ll email you the page URL. No, I’m not going to spam you. I don’t know how popular this thing is going to be, and I’m worried if I get several hundred users at once streaming it, the server will crash. I’m not youtube after all!

So go -> here if you want a link to the new video.

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Amber Heard Pokies Make Me Cry For My Mamma

Amber Heard pokies 5Brace yourselves, cause I’m about to say something stupid: Amber Heard’s pokies are probably the best ever. Nothing wrong with her boobs, of course, and her nipples deserve an award. But when you combine these yummy things with those eyes, and that hair, and those lips, and that face… as cool as I am (and that is VERY cool, as you know), I just can’t help myself. Total infatuation. And lust. And perversion.

Did I mention her lawyer hired a private detective who came and knocked on my mobile home door and told me to cut out the stalking shit?

Although I am a braless ninja, it can be difficult to find pics of certain celebs or certain categories. But I’m going to be honest: Amber Heard is the easiest ever. This girl doesn’t even own a bra.

It doesn’t matter if she’s going to the gym, stepping out on the red carpet, playing badminton with a kitten, praying at church. She sporting pokies, and she don’t care.

Those nips have cause riots, and calmed serial killers. I bet they smell like vanilla and taste like bacon.

Amber Heard pokies 3Amber has a couple of tattoos. They aren’t an important part of enjoying her breasticles, but since she runs around half-nekkid all the time they’re usually easy to spot. One is a phrase written in a red color and in Spanish. It talks about loving things in secret and in the dark, some gibberish like that. I don’t know about you, but I’d love her with alllll the lights on, right out in the open where errbody could see the copious amounts of love I was giving her. The other one is in Persian. Not sure if we are supposed to assume that she is tri-lingual (Spanish, Persian, Merican)? It talks about the world ending and to be happy since you still exist. If I woke up to Amber’s tattoos every morning, I’d be happy.

Amber Heard pokies 4This girl gets around. Her most famous manfriend is Elon Musk. I think that’s kind of pathetic, since Elon is mega-geeky, no doubt has no idea how to properly lay pipe, and way too damn busy running several global companies like SpaceX and Tesla to ever give her any attention. She dates somebody new every year it seems, but thankfully her patter is quite clear: she prefers those boobies get groped by older dudes. That’s semi-promising for me, except most of those old dudes are rich and suave and I’m poor and moronic.

She was actually married to Johnny Depp for a couple of years, and he’s older than dirt.

I gotta make sure you know, there for awhile Amber was officially a partner of Tasya van Ree. She is a photographer. That means Amber swings both ways, and I guess likes to munch zee carpet. She is noted as being an activist for various causes, but I’ve never seen her come out for gays or lesbians.

Amber was recently in the Aquaman movie. I haven’t seen it, but I sincerely hope she swishes around in high-def for two hours in a very wet costume. We can be damn sure she doesn’t wear a bra.

I actually first saw her in a movie called Never Back Down. I posted about it here in 2009. When I found that post from 9 years ago, I realized the image links were broken and I fixed them. Nine years ago I would’ve had all my hair and mostly-functioning manparts and would’ve had some hope of giving Amber a dirty sanchez on a beach in the Mexican Riviera. Alas, she’s got hotter and I got older.

Amber Heard pokies 6Amber Heard CleavageAmber Heard boobsAmber heard pokies 1Amber Heard pokies 2Amber Heard pokies 7

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Why Geena Davis’s Boobs Matter

Geena Davis is a tall drink of water. At 6′ tall, she has some long-ass legs that will wrap around you and constrict you like a boa. And she’s no waif, she has a fairly thick, athletic build. She was on the track team in high school, but swears that she stood around more than she ran or jumped.

Geena Davis bralessInteresting Geena trivia: she placed 24th out of 300 women who tried out for the 2000 Summer Olympic archery team.

At one point, she was practicing with her bow and arrow five hours per day, six days per week. This is approximately how much time I spend wanking my willy.

Geena has been married four times. Each of her husbands claim that she is moody and doesn’t like to hump after the wedding ring goes on. Ha, I made that up. She filed court papers against her most recent husband saying they were never actually married. You know you are on a gal’s shitlist if she not only wants to divorce you, she actually disowns you.

She has starred in a bunch of movies and TV shows. I most thoroughly enjoyed her in Transylvania 6-5000 and Thelma and Louise.

Geena Davis CleavageYou are going to think I’m making this up, but in the Transylvania movie she plays a disastrously horny vampire who wears an awesome open-chested suit that shows off her braless boobs.

She has given speeches on diversity and gender roles in films. Now I think that’s all well and good, but I happen to know she was a window mannequin for an Ann Taylor department store before she signed with a modeling agency. So for someone that has made a career off her looks and her body, she seems to have an unusually high amount of concerns for empowering zee ladiez.

Geena Davis Transylvania 6-5000I couldn’t tell you how many times I watched her cleavage in slo-mo on a VHS video cassette tape. For sure, she has c-cup boobies. I think she’s had three kids, and I can’t say for sure that process didn’t inflate then permanently deflate those boobs.

She has a somewhat odd voice, or maybe I should just call it unique. If she bent down (waaay down, don’t forget she is six feet tall) and whispered in my ear “Bite my nipples, kind sir” I think I could recognize her with a mask on.

Geena Davis cleavage TransylvaniaI know what’s on your mind: Geena Davis nudes. I can’t blame you. It’s rare that I even pass a female postal worker on the sidewalk without wondering what she looks like naked. There are some nudies of Geena out there, but I’ll stick to the more tantalizing pokies.

In an interview back in 1985, Geena admits that she spent a year as a foreign exchange student living abroad in Sweden. Even if she was lucky enough to land an insulated bra with a heating element powered by a 9v battery, we all know a winter in that igloo of a country was enough to turn her nips rock-hard.

It’s widely reported that Geena belongs to MENSA, which I think is either a club for stuffy smart people, or stands for Masturbating Eccentric Nincompoops Squatting Assiduously.

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Santa Likes Downblouse Boobs Too

It’s not long until Christmas, and I’ll give you a little tip: Santa likes boobs too. I don’t know exactly what she looks like, but I’m willing to bet Mrs. Clause has had a bit of motorboating over the years.

Maybe, if you’re lucky, you will get the gift of boobs for Christmas. Not like breast implants. Chances are, if you’re visiting this blog, you’re a guy. Yes, we have female visitors too, but statistically speaking, you’re more likely to be a guy. As a guy, we do not want you personally getting breast implants. I mean like boobs in your face, that kind of gift.

boobs while diningIt could be boobs at a restaurant, like this little lady. This kind of downblouse craziness is hard to get adjusted to. What do you think is going through her mind? I have big, soft, double-D boobies. It’s just so difficult and boring to keep them covered up. I think I’ll just squeeze them up and out, display them to everyone. If the guy is cute, I’ll think it’s hot that he’s looking at me. If he’s not, I’ll call it creepy.

downblouse paintingThe other day I was walking through the downtown market, and I came across this gal who was painting. She had a bucket and you could make a donation if you wished. As she finished up her paintings, she would lean them up against the rail and start another. Folks were buying the paintings, so that was another income stream for her. She was dressed quite comfortably, wearing no shoes, stretchy pants, and an over-sized v-neck shirt with no bra. I think part of her popularity was the fact that gentlemen strolling by would catch a glimpse of the downblouse action of those boobs weeble-wobbling under that shirt, and they just couldn’t help but stop and stare. And it some cases contribute. And in some cases snap a secret photo.

cafe boobsHoney, let’s meet for a drink at a cafe. You can wear that frilly little orange skirt that I like. And that tanktop that is ver loose-fitting and barely there. No bra, okay? I want those pretty, perky, pink-tipped boobs to be tantalizing me the entire date. Also, wear your hear up. Keep it off your neck so I can get the full view of your radiant skin. What’s that, the waiter is staring down your top? Well, we don’t mind do we?

down her shirtMeanwhile, as we visit the Leaning Tower of Piza, how about we stare right down this girl’s shirt? I can’t say I’m a fan of the crazy hat and the goofy sunglasses, but my goodness I can see all the way down to her bellybutton. This has to be on purpose, right? Maybe she unclipped her bra, stuffed it in her purse, bent over and said “did you get the photo?” I kind of suspect she and her boyfriend frolicked in the taxi on the way to the Tower site. He had a hand up her shirt feeling those soft yummies while the cab driver smoked and tried not to stare in the rearview mirror.

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Braless Zombie

braless insanityFrankly, I lost my mind when I saw this photo. Slobbering, falling down, hand in my pants, turned into a mindless braless zombie.

Really, I could drop the mic right here and we would all understand. Alas, I must forge on. Try to move *past* this incredible beauty with the retina-melting nipples.

As much as I just can’t stop looking at her boobies – and trust me the tractor beam that draws my gaze back to those girls is pretty much irresistible – I also keep staring at her crotch. Questions that are burning a hole in my pants:
– Is she squashing her labia against that bed frame??
– Is that a tattoo of a tiny heart?
– Can I put my face in there?
– Those little wrinkles at the crease of her thigh are just for me?

braless tanktopThis little blondie in a white tanktop is going to cause a stir. By that I mean the object in my pants is now as a stiff and straight as a paint stick with which we could stir some paint. My two favorite things about this photo: I like how her boobs are a little droopy, and I like how we see basically a perfect nipple printout on her tanktop. There are probably wet t-shirt contests that reveal less than this. And she is so introspective. As if she’s thinking… why are his lips not on my nips?

braless widebodyIf we continue to follow that theme, veering away only slightly, we see my widebody girl. No, I’m not saying she’s pudgy and deserves a label: warning, wide load. I’m talking (as always) about her chest. They are kind of drooping to the side in the classic sidewinder fashion aren’t they? Which I like. I suspect if she were to shove them together they would form the most delicious looking cleavage in the world.

And yes, my dirty friends, you can see up her skirt.

braless dress 1This yummy milf is rocking a dress (or is this just a top?) that accentuates every curve of her braless d-cups. And those things are beyond a doubt perfectly natural. She has a youthful smile, but the crinkle of the wrinkle beside her eyes can’t be hidden by sunglasses. That’s what tells me she’s 38, drives a convertible Mercedes, sometimes laughs until she pees a little, and is not afraid to grunt when she’s doing the deed.

braless dress 2I’m tempted to say she has great hair, but I think those are roots showing. Looks, I’m not hair expert, I’m a boob ninja so don’t quote me on this. What is it with the profile pic? It’s not enough to slay us with the smile and the proud pokies, now she has to turn sideways and make us daydream about watching her girls bounce while she straddles us in a wonderful Christmas tradition?

braless laughSpeaking of smiles, let’s segue on to this phenomenal natural beauty whose girlish pumpkins are unrestrained by one of those pesky bra things. I like how she’s laughing and enjoying herself. I can only imagine she is standing in line at the airport and the upcoming security checkpoint is staffed by some horny shark who is going to try not to stammer and flick when those pokies get close to his eyeballs.

PS – that airport fantasy reminds me of this post.

Rose Byrne bralessOne of the more popular movies these days is Instant Family. Other than Markie Mark, one celeb of interest in the movie is Rose Byrne. Yes, she has a name that none of us can spell or pronounce, but thankfully she is very proud of her little braless boobies. Showing them off in this plunging red dress at some Hollywood get-together seems to come naturally to her.

Might as well mix a little celeb action in here today, yes?

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