Rumer Willis Braless

It’s not exactly an infrequent occurrence – Rumer Willis being spotted braless in Hollywood. Let’s see here. Rich? Check. Pedigreed? Check. Boobies? Yep, pretty good. Show em off? Obviously. Cool parents? Oh yeah.

Forgive me for jumping to conclusions, but basically every single photo I see of Rumer she looks like she just woke up and took some cold medicine. Not as in she looks bad, just sort of low IQ. Now I personally have never been accepted into Mensa, which is why I take government food stamps and leave my mobile home just long enough to go to the closest public library to post on my perverted blog. But dayum, when folks take photos of me, I try not to give them the glazed-eye, mouth-breathing, duh look.

If there was a sex tape of Rumer Willis, it would never be published. Her dad Bruce Willis would whip up on somebody and they would rue the day. Bruce is like Chuck Norris, pretty much omniscient, badass beyond belief, and willing to crumble you into bits and use you on his salad like bacos if you mess with his tattooed daughter. I can’t imagine growing up with a name like Rumer. I thought Johnny Deeper was bad, but the kids would’ve really made fun of me if I sounded like this gal.