Step rrrrright up, dearie. Slick your wet hair back out of your face so we can check your for excessive wrinkles or buck teeth. Cock your hip girl, we like ’em curvy around here. Adjust the boobs and make sure you’re covered, we’re only like pg-13. And if the nips ain’t standing at attention, tweak ’em for godsakes, we ain’t here to swim. Never mind about the camel toe, we like that too, even if your crotch kind of smells like seaweed right now.

An yeah, gal number two will not win any beauty contests next week. She is just on this side of a 5. But upon close inspection (and hey, you know I inspect closely), she appears to have very large puffy nipples. Annnd she’s braless in a tanktop. That deserves something. Maybe not a trophy, but at least a gawk on bralessblog.

I wish the last photo were larger and not so overexposed. Sometimes I could just curse a photographer. Yo, bro, she is hot and she’s braless. Read up on your photography tutorial if you have to, but get it right. Do you think she perked those nipples up and slathered on some lipstick just so you could butcher her picture? I’ll elbow you right out of the way, let a pro show you how to snap a few photos. Uh, dearie, you don’t mind if I shake my marble pouch at you while I do this, right?

It’s hard being me. I vacillate between feeling like
a) the bralessblog is for me
b) bralessblog is for the readers
c) it’s for nobody because we only got like 641k page views last month
d) all the the traffic actually costs me money because it blows my interwebz up and I don’t make any money anyway

(C) above is sort of tongue-in-cheek. 641k pv in a month is kind of getting up there. And all from such humble beginnings. As it turns out, hot chicks with nearly visible boobies are very popular. Also, I’m quite witting and charming. Lots of people come here for the writing. Really. I’m not kidding.

Do I get any credit? Naw. Does NPR call and do a story on me? Nope. Is it fame, riches, fortune. Hell no. Well, at the end of the day, at least I don’t have to wear a damn bra. I’m a guy, in case you were wondering. If you didn’t know that, I guess the irony and the semi-joke would be lost.

Oh well, for the rest of you, here is your damn photo. I don’t know who she is, and I don’t care. You don’t either, except to the extent that you may think she is so smoking hot you want to see more photos of her, or maybe a movie where she is eating a lil ice cream cone on a hot summer day sitting in a Mercedes with the cream dripping down her cleavage and a big smile that suggests she looooves licking things.

Ps – too bad, I’m not feeling that generous.

A tip, ladies. From me to you. You don’t have to pay for it, even though it’s really valuable and can potentially change your life. It’s free, a gift. Because I’m generous, and you have boobs.

Use what you’ve got.

That’s it. That’s the tip. But I’ll go ahead and explain.

See this girl? See how she’s kind of average looking? Now, I’m not saying her face is all busted up or she looks like a horse. She was nice enough to submit these photos and petition the lords of the braless for inclusion into the site, so I won’t diss her by any means. I’m just saying she is no super-model. But she uses what she has. In her case, she’s got some pretty darn good boobs. Nothing special about them, they are maybe a little bigger than average, maybe a little less perky than the Hollywood ideal, less shapely than the perfect round orbs being churned out of the plastic surgeon’s office these days. But it don’t matter. She’s workin it. She’s got boobs, and she’s using ’em. A little makeup, some lipstick or lipgloss.

Is she perfectly skinny? No. Boobie badger don’t care. Boobie badger is captivated by those luscious melons she has bouncing around. What she has may not make her millions. But she will use it to enhance her life. Get her out of speeding tickets. Get her free drinks at bars. Probably even get her a few promotions at work. Women’s lib people may scream and pound, but this is all about liberation. If everybody uses what they’ve got (guys and gals), tries to build on things they don’t got, and doesn’t get all bitchy and whiney when somebody they don’t really like has got something they don’t, ahhh what a beautiful world it will be.