Braless Blog

Eva Longoria, who is no relation to the gigantic globes of Eva Amurri, is one hot little spanish looking dame. Eva is pretty, but bless her heart I don’t think she is very smart. The reason I say that is because she married an NBA point guard. Now we all know those NBA boys like to dip their stinger in every pot of honey they can find. Nobody can blame Tony Parker for slobbering on Eva, she is after all smoking hot. But for Eva to actually think Tony would keep pony in his pants is really dumb. Tony proceeded to do what he does, and when Eva discovered like five hundred text messages on his phone from some bimbo, she flew into a rage and divorced his ass. She makes like $13 million a year, so hey let’s not feel too sorry for her. She is 36, no spring chicken, but still young enough to have some perky, pointy little boobs. When she pops out of this limo and waves, she seems to be saying to me:

a) hi, please check out my boobies
b) I only have a few more years before my eggs stop dropping into my fallopian tubes. Since I’ve never had any children, my biochemistry is turning me into a stark-raving-mad hornball right now. If you don’t jump my bones, I will go hump that washing machine over there. Your choice.

Yessireebob. That’s what I say when somebody asks me “Son, have you seen Marisa Miller’s boobs lately?” The affirmative, because she don’t mind showing them off, the emphasis because, well I like ’em alawt. She has that little mole thing on her RH boob. I’m not so much into that. Moles are for the garden. They can help give your yard a little texture, keep it from looking all flat and boring you know? But not the boobs, keep my boobs clean of all moles and skin tags, thanks. Marisa is 33 years old, no spring chicken. So things happen. Get a couple of spots of cellulite here and there, some moles from all the pre-cancerous legions that result from baking your skin in the UV. Buzzkill you say? Hey, I wouldn’t kick her out of bed even if she was on chemo.

Usually, I like me some red-ass lipstick. But Marisa looks very comely in her pale tan or pink or whatever color lipstick that is. Very sophisticated looking. And I like her hair, and has pretty eyes. Would you listen to me? I sound like I’m trying to make up for the fact that I’m slobbering all over her braless breasts by complimenting the rest of her looks. Don’t worry. Not the case. I’m just fixating. I’ll move on to the next girl soon enough.

Marisa was kind of a big deal. She was a SI swimsuit gal, she did some nudie stuff. Glad I could introduce her to you.