Braless Women 10

A tip, ladies. From me to you. You don’t have to pay for it, even though it’s really valuable and can potentially change your life. It’s free, a gift. Because I’m generous, and you have boobs.

Use what you’ve got.

That’s it. That’s the tip. But I’ll go ahead and explain.

See this girl? See how she’s kind of average looking? Now, I’m not saying her face is all busted up or she looks like a horse. She was nice enough to submit these photos and petition the lords of the braless for inclusion into the site, so I won’t diss her by any means. I’m just saying she is no super-model. But she uses what she has. In her case, she’s got some pretty darn good boobs. Nothing special about them, they are maybe a little bigger than average, maybe a little less perky than the Hollywood ideal, less shapely than the perfect round orbs being churned out of the plastic surgeon’s office these days. But it don’t matter. She’s workin it. She’s got boobs, and she’s using ’em. A little makeup, some lipstick or lipgloss.

Is she perfectly skinny? No. Boobie badger don’t care. Boobie badger is captivated by those luscious melons she has bouncing around. What she has may not make her millions. But she will use it to enhance her life. Get her out of speeding tickets. Get her free drinks at bars. Probably even get her a few promotions at work. Women’s lib people may scream and pound, but this is all about liberation. If everybody uses what they’ve got (guys and gals), tries to build on things they don’t got, and doesn’t get all bitchy and whiney when somebody they don’t really like has got something they don’t, ahhh what a beautiful world it will be.

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Eva Longoria Braless

Eva Longoria, who is no relation to the gigantic globes of Eva Amurri, is one hot little spanish looking dame. Eva is pretty, but bless her heart I don’t think she is very smart. The reason I say that is because she married an NBA point guard. Now we all know those NBA boys like to dip their stinger in every pot of honey they can find. Nobody can blame Tony Parker for slobbering on Eva, she is after all smoking hot. But for Eva to actually think Tony would keep pony in his pants is really dumb. Tony proceeded to do what he does, and when Eva discovered like five hundred text messages on his phone from some bimbo, she flew into a rage and divorced his ass. She makes like $13 million a year, so hey let’s not feel too sorry for her. She is 36, no spring chicken, but still young enough to have some perky, pointy little boobs. When she pops out of this limo and waves, she seems to be saying to me:

a) hi, please check out my boobies
b) I only have a few more years before my eggs stop dropping into my fallopian tubes. Since I’ve never had any children, my biochemistry is turning me into a stark-raving-mad hornball right now. If you don’t jump my bones, I will go hump that washing machine over there. Your choice.

Eva Longoria bralessEva Longoria Braless

Braless Women 9

This lady had to make an adjustment. I can’t really stand to watch baseball on TV. It’s boring, American pastime or not. Plus, the guys are all out there yanking and pulling on their johnsons. I realize it may itch, or be in a bad position, or whatever, but seriously you don’t have to be digging in your crotch constantly – have a little self-discipline. It’s exceedingly rare however to see a lady working a boob around. Maybe she had technical difficulties, maybe she had a nip that was getting a little friendly and peeking over the edge, or maybe she had her wallet tucked in there and it shifted too far to easily be reached.
braless lady

To the delight of her groupies at the party, this young lady has carefully removed her bra. What will she do with it? Nobody wants to carry a purse to a party, and she is probably wearing jeans that are too tight to allow her to stuff it in her pocket. If she carefully places it on the corner of the coffee table, one of her drunken fratboys is sure to whip out his iphone and snap a photo of it, likely with the size tag exposed. They may later tack it up in the frathouse bathroom with a caption that reads: Laura is a 34C, call 555-1212 for verification.
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Lose the skullie. That’s what I say. The black leather jacket I can live with, especially if you’re naked underneath. And certainly if that zipper has roughed up your nipples and made them adopt a 4-hr erection period much like a viagra experiment gone awry.
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Marisa Miller Braless

Yessireebob. That’s what I say when somebody asks me “Son, have you seen Marisa Miller’s boobs lately?” The affirmative, because she don’t mind showing them off, the emphasis because, well I like ’em alawt. She has that little mole thing on her RH boob. I’m not so much into that. Moles are for the garden. They can help give your yard a little texture, keep it from looking all flat and boring you know? But not the boobs, keep my boobs clean of all moles and skin tags, thanks. Marisa is 33 years old, no spring chicken. So things happen. Get a couple of spots of cellulite here and there, some moles from all the pre-cancerous legions that result from baking your skin in the UV. Buzzkill you say? Hey, I wouldn’t kick her out of bed even if she was on chemo.

Usually, I like me some red-ass lipstick. But Marisa looks very comely in her pale tan or pink or whatever color lipstick that is. Very sophisticated looking. And I like her hair, and has pretty eyes. Would you listen to me? I sound like I’m trying to make up for the fact that I’m slobbering all over her braless breasts by complimenting the rest of her looks. Don’t worry. Not the case. I’m just fixating. I’ll move on to the next girl soon enough.

Marisa was kind of a big deal. She was a SI swimsuit gal, she did some nudie stuff. Glad I could introduce her to you.