I could’ve sworn somewhere on this vast, 10 year-old site I had covered (uncovered?) Giada De Laurentiis. But search as I might, I see nada.
I forgive you if you are sitting there with your iphone knockoff or on your office desktop enjoying BralessBlog but asking “Giada who??” She is a celebrity chef and does stuff on the food network. Or at least I’m told so. I’m to poor to afford cable, and if I could afford cable I’d be too busy watching skinemax to watch the food channel.
Organizing my thoughts is a full time job, trust me. But I have a few things to share about Giada, and I’ll split them up into discrete topics.
1) Giada may be a sex fiend
Giada was married for 11 years. After she divorced, there was evidently a lot of gossip around town. It’s odd there’s so much talk of her dragging dudes (sometimes several at once) back to her hotel rooms. She was photographed on vacation with Matt Lauer. Yeah, you know the news guy who was fired for fooling around with have of the NBC staff. The were “just friends”. Un-huh, friends, with big pearly whites and super boobs and no nookie.
2) Giada likes keeping her nipples under wraps
Bikinis, dramatically low-cut tops, freezing cold production sets – none of that matters, we rarely get a glimpse of those pokies. You’ll see some photographic evidence here, and (because I’m awesome) some downblouse shots. But considering the body she has and how willing she seems to show off her cleavage, it’s tough to find shots of her nips. (See below for nip slip gif.)
3) There’s something going on with Giada De Laurentiis’s crotch
I realize this is “bralessblog”, and you’re here because you goddam love the boobies. I don’t mean to distract you from that. Get a load of all the cleavage you want, bro. (And you too, sis.) But I would be remiss if I didn’t explain to you that Giada’s crotch caught my eye. I realize she’s a mom that’s approaching her 50’s now. Things start to droop and loosen up, I get it. But the few photos I’ve seen of her hoochie area make me think… megalabia. If she really is a sex fiend, maybe her girlparts stay swollen. Maybe she likes to pull on them, kinda like me as I sit around in my barcolounger watching Knight Rider reruns and pulling on my jimmy. I’m just saying: that’s a package.
4) Giada’s measurements are heavenly
Forget the supermodels with the long legs. Giada is a compact 5’2″ or so. She’s petite, which is a little weird for a chef. But don’t you worry, my girl comes packing a 32 C-cup bust. I like ’em big and small, but sometimes you see an advertised C or D and you think somebody might be fudging the numbers a little. I fudge my number all the time, healthy 4″ here, glad you asked. But anyway, that skinny waist, acceptable butt, and curvy soft boobies are just heavenly.