If you love catching celebrity nips and pokies as much as me, you’re probably obsessed. But seriously, enjoy over a decade of delicious celeb coverage (or should I say uncoverage) by yours truly!
Who would’ve thought back when we were watching her bee-bop around in the Addams Family that we’d get a boner over pictures of Christina Ricci walking across a parking lot braless. I’m guessing she proceeded to climb into a $100,000 Mercedes or BMW, but I swear that has nothing to do with the trouser snake action. When she was younger, her parents divorced and she was a cutter. You know, the self-injury thing. That’s a little creepy. But did I mention that she is not wearing a bra and she’s kind of sexy? She is known as an activist so I probably won’t marry her.
Holy crap, Batman. Kelly Rippa is ripped. She must workout like a fiend. She would be the next Weight Watchers spokesman, but a) she’s so busy doing Electrolux commercials she has no extra time, b) she would be accused of being anorexic and have no connection whatsoever to the pudgy audience she was trying to reach. I don’t mind here age, I like her body (especially those big pythons she’s sporting), but seriously man… the belly button thing has me freaked out. I can just imagine taking her to some swanky restaurant or party and she’s in a silky dress and the light is just right and bystanders start to wonder if she has a little peepee sticking out of her flat tummy. I’m not trying to be cruel, or an A-hole, I’m just saying. That is a big prominent belly button and I try not to look at it myself.
I’ve had my eye on LeAnn Rimes since way back in 2006. She seems like a sweet gal. Plus, she has an interesting chest. Sorry, this is just the way I am – a guy who notices girls who go braless. LeAnn recently did some kind of press release or maybe it was an interview where she talked about having psoriasis. The thought of getting down and dirty with little LeAnn and getting kind of scratched up or flaked on by rough skin patches is less than awesome. But still, she is might dang cute isn’t she? One time I had a girlfriend I was dating who was drop-dead gorgeous but she had bad breath. I mean like consistent halitosis. She would brush her teeth, fix her hair, spray her perfume on, give me a kiss, and gross me out. I still dated her for awhile. Some things are forgivable.
Jessica Simpson knows her body, she has been staring at it in the mirror (and touching it, and feeling it, and maybe kissing it?) for the last 30 years or so. When people talk smack about her being too flabby when she gets up on the stage, I’m sure it hurts. She knows she is a round kinda gal. Obviously, this motivates her to get out and burn a few calories.
She is pretty tough. Despite the fact that she manages to make it look easy, look light on her feet, I know it isn’t easy to jog with girls like that in your sweater. I don’t personally have D-cups, but I have been blessed with abnormally large testicles. Any time I jog, they clank together, flop around, trip me, sometimes drag the ground. I’m very sympathetic to her plight. I would be happy to help her by holding them up while she runs.
