Braless Celebrities

Jenn Kaelin Braless

Jenn Kaelin PicJenn Kaelin makes me think about world peace, lingerie stores, and the infamous dirty sanchez. If you don’t know sanchez, bralessblog ain’t the place to find out.

My point is, there are a flood of emotions that come about when Jenn hoots her hooters. She has that dirty girl, 80’s rock video look that really doesn’t get old.

Jenn Kaelin PicI think she started out at a Hooters, and progressed to stripping somewhere. It’s been asked before why she doesn’t hit the big circuit, do magazines, maybe start her own site.

I’ll tell you why. Because it’s tiring lugging around those massive boobies! It’s just too much work.

Jenn Kaelin PicNo, the real reason is because she asked me, and I told her no. I said, Jenn baby, you gotta keep those boobies just for me. Don’t be flashing them around to everybody.

With a twinkle in her eye, she reached around and pulled my wallet out of my pocket and said, um, so you don’t mind if I do some stripping then?

She’s been in internet sensation for a few years now. It’ll be interesting to see if she’s able to capitalize on it and pick up a new Ferrari, or whether she ends up selling shoes in some store by the time she’s thirty.

Jenn Kaelin PicJenn Kaelin Pic

You know she’s a 36F, right? Lawksamercy, them girls is beeg.

There were some uh, er, leaked videos awhile back. I’m too wholesome to give you any screenshots or stream the video here, but if you want to see it just contact me or leave a comment or something.

Braless Tanktops

The Big Juggs Cometh

From our friends at Bliss comes this hellaciously delicious babe with re-goddam-diculous cans. These massive mellons, tanned globs of womanhood that they are, happen to be falling out of a perfectly ripped and shredded tanktop. You will find that we loooove us some tanktops here on bralessblog. And why not? They are one step removed from hillbilly lingerie. This is the kind of action you can get with a pair of scissors and $3 worth of clothing from Wal-Mart. Or everybody’s favorite Goodwill. I won’t digress into clothes shopping advice, not when this brunette beauty is standing here waiting for us to tattle on her ta-ta’s and whisper about her womanhood. I kind of like how she has her glossy lips parted. It kind of makes me think about, well you know what I’m thinking about. Clergy would probably think about the same thing confronted with this magnificent mamma.

braless tanktop gal

Tennis Pokies

Maria Sharapova My Beloved Tennis Goddess

I really meant to launch a post about my babe Maria Sharapova, but here it is the middle of June and I’m just now getting around to it. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, or maybe just stuck behind your computer whacking off for the last six months, you know that
a) she won the French Open this year
b) she is ssssmoking hot

Maria is 25 years old, and she is 6’2″ tall. For those of you who prefer the metric system, that converts to “damn long legs.” Now if I had to guess, she is tossing around A-cups, maybe a small b-cup. But what she lacks in heft she makes up for in theft – she has stolen over $21 million in career wins. She could buy some boobs if she wanted them, okay. But she doesn’t want them. Maria has to be svelte, and quick, like a sexy tennis ninja.

She is out in the sun all the time, so I worry that when she’s 40 she will look 60. But honestly, I also fantasize about what kind of hotass tanlines she probably has underneath all those little tennis outfits. Holy mackeral, when she rocks the pokies, every television station in the country panics trying to keep them out of the shot. If I was the producer or network manager or whoever the hell runs the show, I’d say ZOOM IN ON THEM PUPPIES. It’s enough to kill off the older gents, horn up the younger ones, and convert the straight ladies to gayness.

Maria Sharapova PicMaria Sharapova Pokies

Bikini Pokies

Bikini Pokies

This Brazilian goddess is apparently titillating the ladies behind her, because they are giggling and whispering about her. I would imagine Girl Number 1 is saying:
Like, oh my god, did you see that girl’s boobs pop out? What is she thinking? Deadly weapons must be kept in the holster, hasn’t she heard?
And Girl Number 2 is saying:
That bikini top is overburdened with D-cup boobies. Slut alert, slut alert! Those even look natural, so like, gag me with a spoon. If I had big soft melons like that I would totally keep them under wraps.
bikini pokies

Not to be outdone, we have another minority-lookin chica with trapezoidal boobies. I say that because she is totally lacking in the cleavage department, yet somehow manages to support hefty c-cuppers with diamond hard pokies leading the way. If she were to fall over in the sand, she would land like a tripod, with those nips digging in and possibly anchoring her to the beach until a tow truck arrived. Her body is about 10 lbs past prime, er maybe 20, her face is kind of, well let’s be kind, and her hair is a mess. But dang, those boobies don’t fail to amaze. That just proves we’re guys (and fairly horny girls) – we are willing to overlook a lot in hopes of getting at the chesticles.
bikini pokies