The Hardbody Edition

I realize that fit chicks aren’t everybody’s cup of tea. Some folks like their women a little softer. News flash: don’t take this the wrong way but if I write the posts I get to choose the topics! So if I have a hankerin for veiny gals today, so be it.

And I do! So prepare yourself.

We should probably start off with crossfit pokies. Unlike ultramarathons or balet, crossfit tends to turn bodies into living breathing sculptures. I don’t own a TV since my doublewide trailer didn’t come with one standard, but I’ve heard crosfit is really popular to watch on TV. Or on youtube, whatever the heck that is.

I’m convinced dudes don’t watch crossfit because of the competition, it’s because of these smoking hot chicks. Here is one example. Not an ounce of at on her, she’s flipping around on this chinup bar like gravity no longer applies. If I even managed to jump up there, it would probably rip my chubby little fingers out of joint. She’s in her skimply little sportsbra, with her perky little pokies jumping around. And those shorts, don’t get me started on the shorts. I’m sure her butt isn’t like flat; probably looks like two delicious yummies are stuffed in there.

I have seen this chick on youtube before, but I don’t remember her name. I will eventually get around to including some videos I have of her in one of my compilations, and I’ll try to remember to come back and update this page when I do (stay tuned). Funny thing, in her early videos from a few years ago, she had little bewbz. A year or two ago, she magically sprouted these very circular golden orbs. Noooot that I’m complaining. She stomps around in her backyard throwing very heavy barbells around, all the while trying to keep those new DD’s from booming out of her top. Damn good thing her property has a fence around it, otherwise all the boys in the neighborhood would be stopping by for a milkshake.

Okay, see all those red weights? What, you don’t? Oh, excuse me, I need to give you a minute to get un-lost from this gal’s maddeningly delicious cleavage. It’s like falling into a black hole with lots of gravity, isn’t it? The fact that she’s straining and making an ugly face and sweaty and stinky: don’t matter. We’re dudes, and we gotta get up in da’ cleavage. Anyway, those red weights are approximately equal to three elephants. The fact that she can shove them across a floor for half a mile without giving herself a hernia, peeing in her pants, or growing armpit hair is kinda unbelievable. The only way I could slide that sled is if somebody hooked it up to the back of my redneck truck. And even then, 50/50 that it would jerk my rusty bumper off.

This is a little fuzzy, but the shot make the cut because of those abs. And yeah, you have to tip your hat to the nearly transparent sports bra full of pokies. But dang, those abs. When she sneezes, her abs are so tight you could probably drop an ice cube down her shirt and it would sound like a xylophone. That may have happened considering how cold those little nips look. Does she eat nails and maybe a piece of celery for breakfast every morning? Slightly different than sayyyy pop-tarts, course you can actually see her abs.

This training session is like a road construction project – there are more people watching than there are working. I’d be watching too, very closely, if this little hottie was doing something with that big ball right in front of me. Do you think she even has a bra on? Hard to tell, what with the white shirt and the Mt. Vesuvius pokies. Her legs and arms look strong enough to turn me into a very horny unsalted pretzel. Her skin color is a bit dark, and it makes me wonder if she has tanlines. Hubba-hubba, toss that ball and let me get a look at your crotchola please, I’m getting overheated.

This girl looks fast, doesn’t she? I bet she would flex those long, lean, tan legs, and she would be gone in a flash of pigtails, womansweat, and a flash of nip. Forget running, what she’s about to do is show that barbell who the boss is. Grab it, flip it over her head squat down, spread her legs… and I’ll stop right there. If the world was just, you and I would be sitting here looking at her squatted down with her tender thighbone exposed for the world to see with her frozen nipples clinched up. Did I mention she has blue eyes? I might be in love/lust.

I’m kind wanting to stop, but I can’t. Does this suggest addiction? Too damn late to worry about that. Let’s discuss just one more crossfit goddess. You know, it’s the imperfections that keep me looking longer. See the kinda goopy deodorant caked underneath her underarms? Hey man, that’s just real life. She is out there working hard, with her gigantic boobies squashed into that tanktop. She’s sweaty, it’s a bad hair day, most of the F’ing United States is watching a broadcast of her nipples, and all she wants is that plastic trophy. I heart you girl, I really do. I’d help you pull that whatchamacallit down, or whatever you’re doing, cause I’m here to help. I mean ogle. Well, both, if you so choose.

I looked all over the site, and didn’t see any previous crossfit posts. This post about the tough mudder from about a year ago is the closest thing I could find.

Sometimes Amanda gets sweaty too.