Reese Witherspoon is Braless

Ya’ll know I love Reese Witherspoon, especially when she hugs up on Jennifer Aniston with the boobies and the pokies all squished together – yum! So don’t take this the wrong way. I’m just commenting because I know her like a sister and lover her like a dirty habit. The smartest thing my girl Reece did was to grow those bangs out and cover up her pointy forehead.

Now, you and I both know that pointy forehead is still under there. I realize she would wake up next to me, and I was caress her angelic face, and I would whisk her hair out of her eyes so I could kiss her despite the funky morning breath, and BAM there the forehead would be. Not any different really than the skinny girl you dated in high school who would stuff her bra with kleenex and would make everybody think – Crikey, girl has some cleavage, gotta get me some. But when you got up in there, the kleenex would fall out and the girls would deflate. Absolutely nothing wrong with that, you love her just the same right? Just a little self-improvement. I mean, girls who wear makeup and cover up the blemishes ain’t being deceptive, they just want to look sexy for me, er I mean us right?

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Now I would’ve been willing to swear on a stack of sticky VHS tapes I had a post a few years (decades?) ago about Reese on the beach doing some swinging with her pokies going crazy. I looked high and low, and all over the bralessblogosphere, and I finally found the post I remembered. It was for Anna Paquin of all people. I’m getting old and senile, can’t even remember my nips any more.

Reese Witherspoon braless dressI’m digging her in this low-cut purple dress. She looks so serious. It looks a bit candid, and yet the way the bottom of her dress is staged you kind of have to wonder. Her boobies look so yummy here!

Natalie Zea Braless

Dearest Natalie Zea, let me count thy blessings.
1) Crystal clear, impossibly sexy greenish-blue eyes
2) very, very, very perky 36 year old boobies
3) pokies big enough to hang a coat hanger on
4) legs that are good enough
5) a hiney that I would like to see going up and down

She is some kind of soap opera darling. I skipped elementary school and received much of my early education from soap operas and street thugs. So I’m surprised I don’t know who she is. Maybe she’s been in a few movies too, but the way she looks, if she could act even a smidgen you would think she would be in every movie coming out. She’s getting a little age on her, as evidenced by the wrinkles, but I compare her to a slightly bustier Jennifer Aniston. That gray dress, something sexy about it. I mean other than the fact that it’s whispy-thin, the top is slit low, the thigh is slit high, and she is wearing no underwear or bra. Shoot, I could even look sexy in that dress. I’d probably have to shave my back though. And my chest. I will have to remember to post more Natalie pics in the future, but they are surprisingly scarce.

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Bras and Freedom

Take them off, and you’ll be free. That’s what I’ve been telling women for years. Braless is good, c’mon everybody chant with me. Well, here’s an interesting take on it:
Bras Liberate Women from Sex Slavery
CNN has this thing going where thousands of hot women who have too many bras donate them to the cause. The bras are then shipped to some third world country, where a) bras are kind of scarce, b) bras are a pretty hot commodity, c) women are maybe not all that hot and have hairy armpits. Anyway, ladies in these countries receive the thousands of bras, and then sell them, make a bunch of money, and retire on easy street. Or at least they no longer have to worry about getting sold into sex slavery and being sucked into some vortex of poverty.

The lady says her house is inundated with bra donations:

“He was constantly moving boxes out of his way to access his tools,” Langas said. “Down in the basement is where he keeps his table saw and other large tools, so besides having to move boxes, he would suffer a scolding from me from getting sawdust all over the bras!”

An interesting idea…

A shipping container would cost $6,500; money she says she just doesn’t have. When she hears about people traveling to Mozambique, she asks them to take an extra suitcase with them, filled with bras. But her goal is to raise enough money to ship all of them.

Perhaps I should begin donating my time to bra transportation. Do you think I would be marked by the federal agents for extra careful pat-downs and cavity searches if I became known as the Bra Transporter?

Kim Kardashian Pokies

As many times as we have visited the subject of ridiculously curvy Kim Kardashian, I’m not so sure we’ve tweaked the nips. What I mean is, pics of Kim’s pokies generally prove to be elusive. I have a few in my collection, don’t get me wrong. I may very well have a picture of every woman’s pokies ever made on god’s green earth. But Kimmie is photographed by a dozen people every day, in everything from ball gowns to bikinis, and it’s rare that she flashes those nips around. So it’s nice to be able to examine them in broad daylight, in perfectly clear photos, when she apparently did her best to keep them under wraps but failed. I mean, here she has a zip up hootchie-mama top, over a sheer sweat top, over I would guess a sports bra. But she’s a bit too cold for the nips to stay incognito. Or maybe she’s just too excited. Cause she is thinking of me and my adonis body, and the way I wipe my nose on my sleeve when I sneeze. Also, I have so much money, I put a new flag on my rusty mailbox last week. And girls like Kimmie get wet all the way down to their knees when they are in the presence of serious cashola like what I’ve got.

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