If you love catching celebrity nips and pokies as much as me, you’re probably obsessed. But seriously, enjoy over a decade of delicious celeb coverage (or should I say uncoverage) by yours truly!
Jessica Szohr is a 27 year old actress who is smoking hot. She was born in Wisconsin. Now I don’t mean to offend all you cheeseheads, but Wisconsin and Minnesota and that whole area up there are known for producing babes. Maybe it’s the cold winters, or maybe it’s the genealogy, don’t ask me to be smart and figure it out, I’m just saying it’s rare to see a hottie claiming to have come from Wisconsin. But here’s the kicker, she descends from a pool of Hungarians and African-Americans. Maybe that explains it.
What is not explained, at all, is how she thinks she can wear this dress and not rock me out of my mind. Hungarian girls like Ms. Szohr can occasionally forget to do the feminine grooming if you know what I mean. Hopefully since Jessica is a Hollywood star and all she doesn’t let that big giant black brush get out of control. You don’t have to worry at all, even though those boobies are young and perky now, they won’t dilapidate and sag with age cuz they’re b-cups. Should be good for at least 50 years, and you’ll be dead by then, dropped into an early grave after humping her four times a day and exhausting your poor heart.
As you may have already noticed from last year, Hayden Panettiere thrills me like a french kiss from a light socket. Ohh, the cute smile. Ohh, the smoky eyes. Hayden only takes her mascara off if she’s about to go scuba diving. And ohh, the crazy little body. I realize when you zoom in right close on this mega-big photo you can see that she is wearing a bra. And since this is bralessblog, oops commander we have a problem. But iz okey. The pokies? See? Would I lead you astray? Course not. So kick back and squint your eyes shut a little bit and pretend like you just finished a dinner date with Hayden and you’re both sitting on the ratty bench seat of your hooptay in the parking lot and she’s cozied up to you with some serious pokies thrusting through that lacy bra, and her face is flushed, and she is maybe even panting a little bit. Woops, then you woke up and you realize you’re sitting in your dirty boxers in front of your dusty monitor reading my website because you can’t even get a date with the walmart girl, much less my perfect idol Ms. Panettiere.
Unlike Edyta Sliwnska, who could be Kathleen Turner’s hot daughter but isn’t, Sophie turner has blonde hair and big round melons. She is skinny like a little waif. Her tummy is so slim you know she never stuffs herself or eats dairy and gets gas. Little skinny girls sometimes have big boobies. Usually, they are either kind of pointy and torpedo-like – which means they are natural – or they are round which means they were purchased. Don’t matter son, those pokies will get you through the night. And most of the day too. Taking this gal out to the beach would be fun. You could coax her into a orange bikini with really thin wet material, and then her nips would drive every other dude within 100 yards nuts. You could just sit back and congratulate yourself on how studly and successful you were. She would spend all your money (we’re pretending like you have some here) and she would cheat on you and tell all her friends what a dick you are, but man there would be a few good weeks or months or maybe even a year. Those little cat eyes and those red lips make me think she would work for the ring too.
As many times as we have visited the subject of ridiculously curvy Kim Kardashian, I’m not so sure we’ve tweaked the nips. What I mean is, pics of Kim’s pokies generally prove to be elusive. I have a few in my collection, don’t get me wrong. I may very well have a picture of every woman’s pokies ever made on god’s green earth. But Kimmie is photographed by a dozen people every day, in everything from ball gowns to bikinis, and it’s rare that she flashes those nips around. So it’s nice to be able to examine them in broad daylight, in perfectly clear photos, when she apparently did her best to keep them under wraps but failed. I mean, here she has a zip up hootchie-mama top, over a sheer sweat top, over I would guess a sports bra. But she’s a bit too cold for the nips to stay incognito. Or maybe she’s just too excited. Cause she is thinking of me and my adonis body, and the way I wipe my nose on my sleeve when I sneeze. Also, I have so much money, I put a new flag on my rusty mailbox last week. And girls like Kimmie get wet all the way down to their knees when they are in the presence of serious cashola like what I’ve got.
