Unlike Edyta Sliwnska, who could be Kathleen Turner’s hot daughter but isn’t, Sophie turner has blonde hair and big round melons. She is skinny like a little waif. Her tummy is so slim you know she never stuffs herself or eats dairy and gets gas. Little skinny girls sometimes have big boobies. Usually, they are either kind of pointy and torpedo-like – which means they are natural – or they are round which means they were purchased. Don’t matter son, those pokies will get you through the night. And most of the day too. Taking this gal out to the beach would be fun. You could coax her into a orange bikini with really thin wet material, and then her nips would drive every other dude within 100 yards nuts. You could just sit back and congratulate yourself on how studly and successful you were. She would spend all your money (we’re pretending like you have some here) and she would cheat on you and tell all her friends what a dick you are, but man there would be a few good weeks or months or maybe even a year. Those little cat eyes and those red lips make me think she would work for the ring too.
Apparently we need to create a new category specific to Ivanka Trump sashaying around braless, because this babe does it pretty often. Witness here and here to name a few. I guess she had those girls implanted by the finest surgeon money could buy, and she figures what the heck, I might as well get my money’s worth and show them off. Which is exactly what I figure too. In fact, it’s apparent that Ivanka and I share a lot in common, and we think a lot alike. I would wager a guess that I know just what she needs. She has been around the blue bloods for far too long. She grew up dating mouse’d up boys driving Porsches and drinking cognac. But she has seen the redneck tv shows, and she’s heard about bad boys who give their women a good stuffing, and she is longing for it.
In the nicest way possible, I would ravage her and give her a new appreciation for what DTF means. Thanks to my homies in New Jersey who taught me the phrase DTF. C’mon, do you know any other statuesque, rich, blonde babes who flop their boobies around braless and aren’t a part of the fashion or Hollywood scene? This is a sign that she and I are made for each other.
She likes to wear white. With no bra. And hard nipples. Raise your hand if you mind.
I could probably post on Kate Upton once an hour every hour and not get tired of her. Curvy and hot, she’s my kind of gal. I don’t wantcha to think I’m obsessed or anything. I mean, I am, just don’t wantcha to know it. Kind of like Jennifer, I have at least two of my six brain cells at any given time engaged in thinking about her. Kate looks dee-lish in this white dress, cut low and design to squeeze those boobies up for maximum effect. The side boob shot, with the blue eyes, and the bronze skin, and the big smile…yowza, I need a girl like that. I wonder how tall she is? Usually I go for petite girls, but trust me I make exceptions. EDIT: She’s 5’10”. I had to look that factoid up on wikipedia where they also show a tiny photo of her at a Jets party vamped up in a black thing that does it’s best to keep those garbonzo beanies under control. She would be a fantastic mom. The kiddo would get hurt, and she would sooth the child and they would lay their head on her breasts and I would have to excuse myself to go to the bathroom and try to calm down.
Do you know Amy Childs? Some kind of British gal. She seems to think she’s pretty hot, which makes two of us. She is 21 years old, so maybe she would like to hang out with an old fart like me. We could hop on that scooter and go zoomin around town, chick out the local watering hole called the Blind Squirrel, then go to the playground and swing on the swings. I bet she doesn’t do that very often. She would be impressed and think that I was interested in her for more than just her boobs. I mean her body. At one point, Amy modelled for a company called Bra Queen, which sounds like an organization I would like to invest in. But some stock maybe, frame my stock certificates and hang them up on my wall, perhaps beside a photo or two of the lovely Amy.
I was tempted to crop her hair out of the photo. It sort of detracts from the the image. Who can imagine laying down a babe with two-foot high hair? Ok, admission of guilt, I can imagine such a thing. Let me try a different tact. If she didn’t have the big hair but was dressed in this getup with that body, I would be just as interested. Fair enough?
