Rumer Willis Braless

Posted on March 13, 2012 by Mr. Pokies

It’s not exactly an infrequent occurrence – Rumer Willis being spotted braless in Hollywood. Let’s see here. Rich? Check. Pedigreed? Check. Boobies? Yep, pretty good. Show em off? Obviously. Cool parents? Oh yeah.

Forgive me for jumping to conclusions, but basically every single photo I see of Rumer she looks like she just woke up and took some cold medicine. Not as in she looks bad, just sort of low IQ. Now I personally have never been accepted into Mensa, which is why I take government food stamps and leave my mobile home just long enough to go to the closest public library to post on my perverted blog. But dayum, when folks take photos of me, I try not to give them the glazed-eye, mouth-breathing, duh look.

If there was a sex tape of Rumer Willis, it would never be published. Her dad Bruce Willis would whip up on somebody and they would rue the day. Bruce is like Chuck Norris, pretty much omniscient, badass beyond belief, and willing to crumble you into bits and use you on his salad like bacos if you mess with his tattooed daughter. I can’t imagine growing up with a name like Rumer. I thought Johnny Deeper was bad, but the kids would’ve really made fun of me if I sounded like this gal.

Rumer Willis bralessRumer Willis bralessRumer Willis braless

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Jennifer Love Hewitt No More Braless Photos

Posted on March 12, 2012 by Mr. Pokies

You know you love her. Those big mogambos of Jennifer Love Hewitt, that soft curvy body, those crinkly-eyed smiles. It’s been a long time since we wondered what she would blossom into during the party of five show. Now we know. The thin brown fabric seems to suit her well. The long, flowing, hippy chic green skirt is great, as long as she promises she has a g-string on under there. Mercifully, we have cropped out her kankles – nobody is perfect but Jennifer is close except for those think beefy ankles. With a top heavy gal like this, we don’t have to worry about the feets dawg. In the one pic, she is on her phone screaming to her best friend:

Yes, they are following me again! I don’t know how they found me, but they’re here. And they are snapping photos even though my boobs are jiggling all over the place. Make sure I never leave the house again without putting on a bra, dammit! The paparazzi and general public get more peeks at my boobies than my man, and that’s just not fair.

But, c’mon, who is going to appreciate her chest more, some dude that has like a million dollars in his bank account and has seen them before, or lil ol me, here in my trailer and wishing mightily.
Jennifer Love Hewitt bralessJennifer Love Hewitt bralessJennifer Love Hewitt braless

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Braless Women 10

Posted on March 10, 2012 by Mr. Pokies

A tip, ladies. From me to you. You don’t have to pay for it, even though it’s really valuable and can potentially change your life. It’s free, a gift. Because I’m generous, and you have boobs.

Use what you’ve got.

That’s it. That’s the tip. But I’ll go ahead and explain.

See this girl? See how she’s kind of average looking? Now, I’m not saying her face is all busted up or she looks like a horse. She was nice enough to submit these photos and petition the lords of the braless for inclusion into the site, so I won’t diss her by any means. I’m just saying she is no super-model. But she uses what she has. In her case, she’s got some pretty darn good boobs. Nothing special about them, they are maybe a little bigger than average, maybe a little less perky than the Hollywood ideal, less shapely than the perfect round orbs being churned out of the plastic surgeon’s office these days. But it don’t matter. She’s workin it. She’s got boobs, and she’s using ’em. A little makeup, some lipstick or lipgloss.

Is she perfectly skinny? No. Boobie badger don’t care. Boobie badger is captivated by those luscious melons she has bouncing around. What she has may not make her millions. But she will use it to enhance her life. Get her out of speeding tickets. Get her free drinks at bars. Probably even get her a few promotions at work. Women’s lib people may scream and pound, but this is all about liberation. If everybody uses what they’ve got (guys and gals), tries to build on things they don’t got, and doesn’t get all bitchy and whiney when somebody they don’t really like has got something they don’t, ahhh what a beautiful world it will be.

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Eva Longoria Braless

Posted on March 9, 2012 by Mr. Pokies

Eva Longoria, who is no relation to the gigantic globes of Eva Amurri, is one hot little spanish looking dame. Eva is pretty, but bless her heart I don’t think she is very smart. The reason I say that is because she married an NBA point guard. Now we all know those NBA boys like to dip their stinger in every pot of honey they can find. Nobody can blame Tony Parker for slobbering on Eva, she is after all smoking hot. But for Eva to actually think Tony would keep pony in his pants is really dumb. Tony proceeded to do what he does, and when Eva discovered like five hundred text messages on his phone from some bimbo, she flew into a rage and divorced his ass. She makes like $13 million a year, so hey let’s not feel too sorry for her. She is 36, no spring chicken, but still young enough to have some perky, pointy little boobs. When she pops out of this limo and waves, she seems to be saying to me:

a) hi, please check out my boobies
b) I only have a few more years before my eggs stop dropping into my fallopian tubes. Since I’ve never had any children, my biochemistry is turning me into a stark-raving-mad hornball right now. If you don’t jump my bones, I will go hump that washing machine over there. Your choice.

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