Billie Eilish is quite the individual. She is sort of punk rock, sort of grunge. She says she is bi, vegan, and doesn’t mind visiting her parents even though she’s rich and young. Also, she’s not skinny.
But heyyy, guess what, she has boobs.
Although she presents herself as a tortured soul, she occasionally flops those boobies around. I’m a dude, and I like boobs, so I applaud her when she does this.
I’m kinda thinking these things are d-cups?
She’s 5’3″ tall, so d-cups are nothing to sneeze at. She claims she’s had these girls since she was young, so I guess she’s gotten used to them by now.
It’s semi-rare to find her braless and showing them off, so you’re welcome.
There was some kind of Billie nude leak a while back. I didn’t exactly hire a private investigator to get the scoop, so it is hard to tell what’s real and what’s not. A video I saw was of someone who looked kinda like her wearing a mumu and bouncing up and down on a dude’s dong on a train. Not exactly thrilling. I’ll stick with her cleavage.
I was trying to think of a Christmas-themed post for today. In years past, I sort of sucked at it. I was apparently semi-focused on downblouse activities.
I centered on the Elf movie, you know the one with Will Ferrell and Zooey Deschanel. So I searched BralessBlog to see if I had posted anything about Zooey before. And lo and behold, I discovered this post about Emily Deschanel. I would’ve sworn I had never heard of Emily before, but I guess the post proves me wrong. I’ll point out that it was from 2007, going on 17 years ago.
Obviously, BralessBlog is a labor of love. I’ve been perving it up for decades, people!
Anyway, getting back to Zooey’s boobs. They are unfortunately on the small side. Not like the massive bazongas I sometimes discuss. But that’s okay, all boobs are beautiful, and Zooey is smoking hot anyway.
This see-through pic is of interest.
Somehow Zooey always seems a little goofy and innocent. To see her rocking this see-through bustier is a little shocking. It makes me think she could probably spread her legs and show you her panties, but then make a face and stick out her tongue and pretend that she just ate some sour candy, in the most unsexy way possible.
It’s nice to stumble across some photos of her cleavage.
A push-up bra can do cool things, even for b-cups.
She draped herself with this red satin dress and then squeezed those boobies up so high with her push-up bra that they started begging for mercy.
I was hopeful but not confident in finding some oops moments, maybe a nipslip.
But alas, Zooey does a fair job of keeping those girls undercover.
If you hold your tongue just right and try to get a good angle on this photo, you can sort of see a bit more of her pretty, pale boobies than she intended. But no nipple.
And of course I strained myself to the point of exhaustion looking for some pokies. The best I could do was the hint of her nipples underneath the blue material of this dress.
The elephant in the room, of course, is that Zooey looks like a dead ringer for Katy Perry, except with half-sized boobs. I swear those two could be twins.
Terrible oversight that I’ve never covered this cute little blond thang. With no further ado… the Top 9:
1) Sydney’s boobies are big and natural.
My god, those titties are enough to make me light-headed and marriage-minded.
Common debate on the interwebz says she is a 32DD cup size. Some perverts even went so far as to zoom in during a lingerie shoot and scope out the tag on her bra.
She might be on the larger side, say a 32E, but regardless, they are big and yummy.
In some photos (not posted here, haha), they seem smaller. But as we’ve discussed before here on BralessBlog, that’s how natural boobs work. They can be squished around, and in some cases flattened out and hidden under various clothing.
2) She doesn’t mind going topless.
She’s done some nude scenes in Euphoria, and also in The Voyeurs.
When she gets topless in front of the camera, the world slows down a little on its axis, and every straight guy in the Northern Hemisphere holds his breath.
3) She has daddy issues.
It turns out Sydney is engaged to this guy who is thirteen years older. She is 26 right now, so that makes him 39.
Look, we all know that’s not going to work. As she gets older and wiser, she’ll work through her psyche issues. At the same time, he’ll start getting gray hair, and jelly rolls, and his johnson will give him trouble. Then she’ll dump him for a Hollywood heartthrob.
In the meantime, I’m putting my application in.
We all know why he’s dating her. And we can’t blame him. Motorboat those things while you still can, my good man.
4) Her nipples are insanely perfect.
Like I mentioned, she’s done nudes, and there have been some leaks too.
So I’m intimately familiar with her nipples. Like studying them and writing theses and getting a PhD expert here.
They are big and pink. They are generally soft and rounded, but they can get hard as a rock and so pointy they are like weapons.
I would propose to her nipples. Can I just marry her boobs, is that a thing? Maybe in Vegas, I’ll have to google that.
Her pokies are goddam epic.
5) She is trained in MMA.
Sydney says she started training in mixed martial arts when she was 14 years old.
The cool thing is there aren’t many female jiu jitsu practitioners. So when she grapples, Sydney is undoubtedly rolling around on the mat with guys. I’m sure she has those boobies squashed down in a sportsbra, and a gi on top of that, but damn what a dream.
6) She is a skinny thang.
I don’t mind curvy women, I ain’t saying that. But Sydney is like all tits.
Katy Perry can be a bit of a chunk. Hot, but not tiny. She’s what, 5’8″?
Meanwhile, here’s Sydney and she’s 5’3 and probably weighs 100 lbs and about 50 of that is boobs.
Sydney works out a lot. I’ve noticed her legs in particular are fabulous. Her weight goes up and down, like all women, but she is not afraid to rock the flat abs.
7) She likes oral.
Okay, I threw this in just to see if you were paying attention.
I have seen numerous photos of her licking ice cream or farting around with her friends in the car with her tongue sticking out.
Maybe that’s just immaturity, or maybe that is an oral fixation.
I hope to find out after she marries me.
Roping this in to our boob motif, if she does the oral thing with shelf boobies like that, the view has got to be other-worldly.
8) She’s rich.
We can assume she’s worth somewhere between $5 and $10 million these days.
So she can afford all the low-cut designer dresses, the lingerie, the kinky latex tops. She can keep those boobs up, if they start to droop too much get some work done.
I’ve always needed a sugar mamma with nice boobs. Sydney is now my main squeeze.
9) She looks amazing in a bikini.
I stuck these candid bikini photos of Sydney in here because, well I’m a pervert, and I like creeping up on the ladeez.
She looks hot, and those pokey nipples get me going. As does the semi-thong in the back, right between her butt cheeks.
Her crotch is certainly of interest, but it doesn’t have me trippin like Giada’s. At least not yet. Let her put some more mileage on it.
Update:
I have no idea what Sydney is doing in this selfie, but I like it. I see her bathtub in the background, so she’s in her palatial bathroom. Her hair looks like somebody dunked her head in a vat of water and then partially blow-dried it with a jet engine. And the thing that she’s wearing has some kind of gathered wrap/skirt at the front, giant sleeves and cuffs, and a collar. Annnd it is super thin and shows off her hard nipples really well, thank god.
Update 2:
Holy crikey. I saw this video of Sydney braless (and bouncing) on the red carpet and I think my mind melted. I guess you could call this dress see-through? You can see every ridge and bump on her nipples. This girl is a damn blessing to the human race. Not only does she have a body that will stop traffic, she is naughty and free-spirited enough to show it off to anybody willing to look. I heard that she got a concussion during filming one of her recent movies. I would be happy to doctor her up.
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Update 3:
Here she is in Italy with those pefect boobs poking through a sheer dress…
When it comes to Jennifer Lopez, most of ya’ll seem to be obsessed with her butt.
And I get it. She’s a Latina, and sort of famous for putting the jiggle and shake in the booty. That girl is thick in those areas, and should not be ignored.
So I’ll start you out with a candid thong pic, just so you don’t think I’m dead inside, and can’t see the forest for the trees, or the booty for the boobies.
But I think it’s time to deepdive (and motorboat) those titties.
As you well know by now, the whole cameltoe + braless thing is rare enough to a) get me extra excited, and b) get my full attention. I love this pic of Jennifer in a tight-fitting workout suit because her pokies are so clearly visible and we have a delicious little side dish of cameltoe.
She likes to work that body. Her boobs aren’t gigantic, but it seems like every time she steps out in the public eye she is squeezing that cleavage for all that it’s worth.
I think she likes the attention. I think her cleavage likes the attention!
She almost had an “oops” moment with the sideboob the other day at a photoshoot. Of course perverts like me were there to watch, record, and slobber.
The way that we are getting a whiff of upskirt here in some ways distracts us from the fact that we’re afforded a bit of a downblouse.
And finally, speaking of oops, this nipple is so brown and tasty looking that I can’t resist breaking my own rules and posting this nipslip of Jennifer here…
Billie Eilish is quite the individual. She is sort of punk rock, sort of grunge. She says she is bi, vegan, and doesn’t mind visiting her parents even though she’s rich and young. Also, she’s not skinny.
